Loungewear?

Recently I saw an ad for plus-size lingerie in my Facebook feed. It said something to the effect of relaxing in style. This "style" was an underwire bra and form-fitting underdrawers! 

Honey, there was nothing that looked relaxing about THAT getup! 

When I want to relax, I want as little fabric next to me as possible. Granny panties and some big ole, loose-fitting jammies are much more my "style." And they don't even have to match. I am not wearing a bra unless I am leaving the house or expecting company. In my book, there is nothing about a bra that is relaxing in any way, no matter how comfortable the ad says it is. 

Come on, plus size companies. Get real. 
Seriously. 

Bryan

The photo on the left was taken last Christmas. The one on the right was taken yesterday.

My nephew, Bryan is in graduate school for electrical engineering at Mississippi State University. He has an assistantship as well as a full load of classes. As someone who did the grad school thing twice, I know how hard it is to get to a gym and count calories while juggling the rigors of post grad education. 

I had the privilege of driving Bryan home from Starkville yesterday. We talked about everything from comic books, to music, to movies, to which writing style was required for engineering papers, to where his childhood friends are now. 

The sweet, shy child I remember has become a confident, articulate young man who values friends and family. He knows what he wants in the future and has a plan to get there. He has also inspired his decrepit old Auntie to do something about her own weight. 

Keep up the good work, young nephew! 

Missing Dad

Seven years ago tonight, my Daddy passed away. Bill and I had been sitting with him in the hospital and had just been relieved by my brother-in-law. We went to get a bite to eat, and headed home. Almost as soon as we walked in the door, the phone was ringing. Daddy was gone. 

I truly believe that, on some level, a terminally ill person is able to make some choice as to his or her time of death. All three of us kids had been there when my mama died. I honestly think Daddy waited until my calm and cool brother-in-law was there before he took his final breath. I also think that he waited for my niece to get home from college to say her goodbyes. 

I never realized how much I would miss this man. And how much of him is in me. He was a social creature who had many friends and loved to visit. Daddy loved a good joke. He also had a great time razzing his Ole Miss friends when their football team was beaten by his LSU Tigers. I have his coloring and his hazel eyes. I have his sense of fair play. I try very hard to be honest and upright in all my dealings, just like he was. 

Happy 7th Heavenly Anniversary, Daddy. 

That RED stuff!

One Thanksgiving, when my brother was just a tot, he looked at his dinner and asked where the "red stuff" was. 

Puzzled, my parents and grandmother began trying to figure out what this "red stuff" was. Ketchup? No. Cherries? No. Spiced apples? No. None of those were the "red stuff" my brother was looking for. 

Finally, it was discovered that the cranberry sauce was not on the table. Mamaw found the can in the refrigerator, opened it, and put it on its little crystal tray. 

My brother apparently lit up like a Christmas tree and pointed to the cranberry sauce. THIS was the RED STUFF he had been wanting. 

Now, every Thanksgiving, we tease him about his red stuff. I don't believe it has ever been forgotten since that particular Thanksgiving Day. 

Make sure you have your "red stuff" and Happy Thanksgiving! 

Cell Phones

"If he's THAT POOR, how can he have a CELL PHONE???"

"If she has a CELL PHONE, she has to be doing OK!" 

I see this kind of thing all the time on social media. To some, when someone is poor, having a cell phone is something that they just don't deserve. How dare they have access to this pretty much necessary device if they are not working, are homeless, or owe someone money? What if it is a "hand me down phone" from a friend or family member? Could someone else be paying the bill? What would one of us give up before we gave up our cell phones? 

These days, there are few pay phones and landlines are disappearing as most people turn to cellular service only. The days of being able to go to a neighbor's house and use their phone are pretty much over. 

Contrary to popular belief, affordable "lifeline" phone services were begun by Ronald Regan, not President Obama. 

A cell phone enables people to live in the modern world, especially if they live in an area without a nearby library. An unemployed person can create a resume, apply for a job and be able to receive a call about it on a cell phone. A mother can receive a call from her child's school in case her child becomes ill. People can get news of road hazards that can help them avoid being part of an accident. A person with irregular work hours, as many low wage jobs are, can do things that usually require being available during certain hours, such as banking. 

I just can't find it in my heart to begrudge anyone a cell phone. Even if some of my tax dollars are helping to pay for service to low income and elderly folks, I consider it money well spent. 

Don't put up those shorts!

As usual, Mississippi has gone straight from Summer to almost Winter in the blink of an eye, sending us scrambling for the long pants and jackets we had stashed behind the capris and T-shirts. There was no gentle glide into Fall-like temps with maybe needing a light jacket after sundown or a lightweight, long-sleeved shirt during the day. Not in Mississippi. 

Anyone who has lived here very long also knows not to stash those Summer clothes too far away. We may very well need those shorts, t-shirts, and sandals at Thanksgiving. Or even Christmas. I hear people from other states talk about putting away their Summer clothes for the Winter. My Summer clothes are never far away. 

The same goes for Winter clothes. I remember a Summer when I was in grad school the first time around where I actually needed a sweater in June. So, it is not really safe to put all the Winter clothes away either. Of course, we have had some Winters where I never really wore what most would call Winter clothes. 

Buyers for our local stores don't seem to get Mississippi. Heavy wool clothes are out in showrooms in August when we are sweating to death and can't even imagine cooler temperatures. And most of the things are going to be too heavy for all but maybe 3 of our coldest days? Some of those buyers need to spend a year down here! 

I have heard the saying all my life "If you don't like the weather in Mississippi, give it a minute, it will change." The same goes for my wardrobe!

I'm sure none of my friends have ever gone from 90 to 55 when they saw a State Trooper. As for me...I'll never tell! 

Mocked

Merriam-Webster defines mock as to "treat with contempt or ridicule." 

This past week, I have heard survivors of sexual assault mocked, joked about, derided, and scorned. This was not just about Dr. Blasey Ford. This was an assault on all survivors.

On social media, everyone becomes an "expert." I wanted to scream when I heard people (who I know are not counselors or psychologists) profess to know exactly how a survivor should remember incidents in perfect detail. In reality, (I am a retired licensed professional counselor) it is not unusual for memories to be fragmented and incomplete. I saw this in my own practice as well as in my own life as a survivor. 

Don't even get me started on the memes about being terrified that boys will be falsely accused and have their lives ruined. Statistically, fewer than 5% of rape accusations are fabricated. 

When tRump mocked Dr. Blasey Ford at the rally in Mississippi, I wanted to reach through the TV and slap him silly. And I wanted to slap the people cheering and clapping behind him. Especially the women! How can they turn on their fellow women like that? 

Personally, I am deeply disappointed in some people I used to at least call casual friends and one or two that I felt were close friends. I honestly hope I never see them again. And there are some local people who I hope I never meet face to face. I don't need these kinds of people in my life. 

I did not tell my story until 16 years later when I went to counseling after the death of my mother. If I told my story now, would I be similarly mocked by these people? After all, the evidence was washed away that night or healed over time.

I have no proof but my word. 

And, apparently, that would mean little to some folks. 

Purple

"Is this purple?" The man asked me, holding up some crepe paper, as I was passing by him in a craft store. "Yes", I replied. He thanked me, explaining that he was color blind. He was decorating a gold tree in purple, those colors being the team colors of his wife's alma mater, Alcorn State University. 

I left him to go get the few items I was looking for. Then I went and found the gentleman again. I told him that I had plenty of time and that I would be glad to hunt for purple things with him. He told me that I was an angel and we proceeded to find all manner of purple things for his wife's tree. As we looked, we chatted and found that we had some acquaintances in common and we talked about all manner of things. I never meet a stranger. 

After we had secured tiny purple clothespins, purple pipe cleaners, purple beads, purple feathers, and a purple boa, it was decided that there was finally enough to trim this Alcorn tree. I wish I had exchanged phone numbers as I would have loved to have seen the finished product. I hope his wife approved. 

As an artist of sorts, I can't imagine not being able to see and identify colors. I am so glad that I was in the right place at the right time to go on this entertaining purple expedition. 

Why We Stayed Silent

Back in the sixties and seventies, one did not talk about sexual assault. Or, if it was talked about, it was in whispers, accompanied by the shaking of heads and the clucking of tongues.  

The victim was almost always blamed. What was she wearing? Was she somewhere she was not "supposed" to be? Had she "led him on?" In some schools, the victim could be kicked out if an assault became common knowledge because she had to have "asked for it." 

Is it any wonder we stayed silent? Our minds trying desperately to somehow "normalize" our situations, while our bodies and souls bore the scars. Counseling was something that was not common back in those days. We had no idea where to get help, or that help was even available. We came home, took showers that did not make us feel clean, and lay on our beds, curled up in fetal positions. 

We became pretty good actresses. We went to class the next day as if nothing had happened. We pasted on smiles. We couldn't understand how no one could see the pain underneath. 

Only much later, often in therapy, did we finally realize that we had to face what had happened to us. Nothing ever really goes away. It is always below the surface, shadowing our lives. We still get tears in our eyes when we hear and read of another victim being blamed. Even today. 

Is it any wonder we stayed silent? 

The Sound of Music

Last Sunday, I took my 25-year-old niece, Amy to see The Sound of Music on the big screen. This movie came out when I was 6 and I vaguely remember seeing it at the Trace Theater in Port Gibson, MS. My mama bought the soundtrack and I remember listening to it over and over and memorizing all the songs.

I saw The Sound of Music again on the big screen when my friend, Teresa and I went to a Sound of Music Sing-Along. People dressed up as the characters and were encouraged to sing along. We were given a bag of props to use during the screening, such as white flowers to wave during Edelweiss,  and a "popper" to use when the Captain kissed Maria for the first time. 

This screening was a treat. There is just something about seeing this movie on the big screen. There were so many details that I could see which are lost on a smaller screen. The twinkle in Christopher Plummer's eyes as he played the Captain, the details of the gorgeous outfits worn by the Baroness, and the majesty of the church where the Captain marries Maria.  

I got goosebumps when Maria began twirling and I smiled so much during the movie that my face hurt afterward. It has been a long time since I enjoyed a movie quite this much.

If you ever have a chance to see The Sound of Music on the big screen take it. You will not be sorry. 

Feeding Critters

My husband feeds critters. 

If it walks, runs, waddles, or wanders into our yard, my husband is going to feed it. 

I have often wondered what people would think if they came into our house when we were not here and saw bags of doggie treats...and no dogs. But, Bill keeps them on hand for the neighbor dogs who have been known to come right in and make themselves at home if the door happens to be open. This has been going on pretty much since we moved to our home 33 years ago. 

Bill does not stop at just feeding dogs, though. He has been known to feed the geese from down the road when they occasionally waddle into our yard. He had a squirrel who would sit on the feeder and eat out of his hand. 

Recently, I noticed that the $6.00 a bag shelled walnuts that I buy for Bill seemed to be going faster than usual. When asked about this, my husband replied that he was now sharing his walnuts. He has to feed the chipmunks that come up to our back steps their breakfast! They come and get it every morning. I'm looking for a cheaper source of shelled walnuts!

If you are hungry, come on over. I'm sure my husband will feed you too. 

Encouraged

Merriam-Webster defines encouraged as to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope. 

I have found it necessary to "snooze", "unfollow" or in rare cases, "unfriend" people on Facebook who insist on posting steady streams of unsubstantiated political garbage (this goes for BOTH sides of the aisle). I just get tired of seeing the same old stuff. I have fact checked it all on multiple sites, and very little, if any of it, is true. And what purpose does it serve? 

But, lately, I have gone back to these hidden friends pages and noticed a trend. Fewer people seem to be jumping on the hate wagon. Most of these posts get one or two likes, are almost never shared, and seldom commented on. Maybe I am not the only one who is tired of the constant negativity? And maybe, just maybe, some people are beginning to think before they pass on questionable, hurtful, and malicious things? 

There is a saying that "Hurt people, hurt people." I fervently hope that maybe there are fewer nasty posts because the people posting them, commenting on them, and sharing them are not hurting as much inside. 

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Arguing

I have never really liked to argue. Growing up with a mom who was a "yeller", I don't like raised voices and words said in the heat of anger. The cliche is true. They can never be taken back and are more lasting than physical blows. 

The older I get, the less I want to argue. I just don't have the energy for it. My limited energy is much better spent in happier pursuits. 

For this reason, I try to stay away from putting things on my personal Facebook page that are bound to start folks to bickering. If I do want to discuss an issue with someone who is mature, I prefer to do it in person or at least in a private message. 

There are some people in my life who make comments to try to bait me into arguing with them. I have tried to make it clear that I am just not interested. These folks are more invested in "winning" than anything else. That can make for an awfully lonely life.  

I am passionate about many things. Art, music, politics, good books, and my faith, to name a few. The likelihood of my changing anyone's mind about anything (especially those at my age and stage) seems pretty slim. I adore much of the work of Saint-Saëns. My husband is not a fan. I cannot understand this. He would much rather hear a Sousa march. Arguing with him over this would be an exercise in futility. 

Don't get me wrong. I love a rational discussion on any of the subjects I am interested in. I am just not interested in arguing with someone for the sake of arguing. 

I have always loved this quote. 

Argue all you want. I will be painting, singing, reading, writing, and choosing to be happy! 

Recovery Musings Part 2

This would be a bit funnier if it were not quite so true right now. However, things are getting better. As my post-surgical pain finally gets better I am able to sleep better at night, which is helping the brain fog. My respiratory therapist reminded me that it takes some time to "pay back" a prolonged sleep debt. If you are curious about sleep debt, check this out.

https://sleep.org/articles/say-goodbye-sleep-debt/

I have officially "graduated" (for the second time!) from Scott Robbins Physical Therapy. I love the atmosphere in his gym. The folks there are mellow but extremely competent. They got me back to pre-surgical form and I am thankful to be back to my version of "normal"   https://scottrobbinspt.com/

Speaking of normal, I now feel like I have my real life back. There were times these past 3 months that I began to wonder if I would ever feel like myself again. It is funny how pain took over my life for the first couple of months to the point where I could not focus on much of anything else. I did not feel like doing any art. I did not feel like reading for very long. There were times when I did not want to talk to anyone (unusual for me, I know!). All I could do was watch the clock and wish time to go by quickly so I could take another Extra Strength Tylenol. Looking back, I probably should have taken the Rx painkillers for a bit longer. But, hindsight is 20/20.

I am looking forward to a couple of short trips in the fairly near future. I'll be turning 59 in October. I want to take advantage of having two good hips to get some things done that I have wanted to do for a couple of years, but have been in too much pain to consider. I still have limitations, but now I have one less to deal with. 

At least I haven't had to drop my pants lately. That may change when I see my surgeon on Monday. I guess he likes to check on his handiwork. If I did work that nice, I probably would too! If anyone reading ever needs a hip replacement, this is the man. 

http://www.capitalorthosports.com/matthew-c-futvoye-md/

Tell him I sent you. 

Opinion vs. Fact

“A fact is a statement that can be proven true.” “An opinion expresses someone's belief, feeling, view, idea, or judgment about something or someone.” 

On Social Media, I constantly see memes about one having a right to one's opinion. I totally agree with this. OPINIONS are not a problem. 

 When opinion is presented as FACT, without substantiation of any kind, and is unkind, unnecessary, and untrue, 
I do take issue with it. If it is your opinion that Nickleback is the best band ever (hopefully not!) that is fine. I may not agree, but that is your opinion and you are entitled to it. 

However, if you present, in your opinion, that the Earth is flat, I take issue. Eratosthenes, a Greek mathematician, proved that the earth is round over 2000 years ago. And if that is not proof enough, one of Magellan's ships (sans Magellan who was killed during the voyage) made it around the world. And, if THAT is not enough, pictures have been taken from space that clearly show that the Earth is round. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaYPkJU7iTQ

Take the time to check the facts. I try to be careful about what I post, but every now and then I post something that turns out to be bogus. I appreciate it when someone posts and lets me know. I don't want to be that person who spreads false information. It is pretty normal to want to morph opinion into fact in order to fit it into our personal belief systems. Especially when we are being presented with evidence contrary to our preconceived notions. Take a page from Aretha's book (God bless her!) and THINK! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqYnevHibaI

Magic Strings

I have been a fan of Mitch Albom's work for a number of years. I thoroughly enjoyed The Five People You Meet In Heaven, For One More Day, and Tuesdays With Morrie. 

However, this book, The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto, absolutely blew me away. The narrator is music and the protagonist is introduced at his own funeral. 

Albom makes the character of Frankie amazingly real, starting with his dramatic birth in a burning church during the Spanish Civil War. He is essentially raised by a blind music teacher and given a guitar with six precious strings. Sent to America as a child to escape the war, his tale is told in his interactions with other musicians of his era, from Duke Ellington to Elvis. Gifted with phenomenal talent, Frankie becomes a pop star himself. But is it enough?

The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto did a lovely job of taking me away from the woes of the present world and into a world of music, passion, and fantasy. For me, it is Albom's finest work to date. 

Legally Blonde (Brag Alert)

**Brag Alert**

My niece, Amy has just finished a run in her first leading role at Vicksburg Theater Guild as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the Musical. The entire cast was absolutely wonderful, but I want to take this chance to brag on Amy for a bit. 

Amy has been dramatic ever since she entered this world with Strep B and pneumonia, spending her first 10 days in the NICU at Women's Hospital in Flowood. It was touch and go for a while, but Amy made it. There were some lingering issues from the strep infection, most noticeably, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Amy also inherited the family history of depression and anxiety, partly from her Aunt KK (sorry Amy!). 

To see Amy, as an adult, overcome these issues to be the kind, smart, and talented woman she is today is joy beyond measure. Legally Blonde has been a real test of her determination and willingness to work hard at the craft of acting. Amy will be the first to tell you that dancing is NOT her forte'. (Sorry again, Amy! KK can't dance either!) However, she has learned all these dances and held her own against the other young people who have dance backgrounds and even dance teachers. Her pretty singing voice is getting better as she works on it doing these theater productions. 

As for acting, Amy has been doing that since she was old enough to talk! I was always amazed at her ability to quickly memorize the shows she watched on videotape. One thing that I did not expect is just how funny Amy is onstage in her roles. I have enjoyed seeing this new dimension of my beloved niece. 

I did theater back in the 1980's and early '90's. I made friends that I still cherish (alas, most of them have passed to that great Greenroom in the sky). I gained confidence that I do not think I would have had without being a part of VTG. I hope Amy reaps these benefits as well. 

Enjoy every minute of your theater experience, Amy. You're a natural! 

Ben

I can't remember exactly when I met Ben Purvis, but I can remember where. Dissatisfied with the quality of framing I was receiving at a local frame shop, I stopped by Fads and Frames in Clinton. I met this sweet young man in a tattered ball cap and I liked him immediately. 

It soon became obvious that he was head and shoulders above anyone who had ever framed anything for me. An amazing artist in his own right, he has an unfailing eye for the perfect colors, textures, and styles in frames and mats. I soon began going to Ben for all my framing needs. 

Over the years, he became more than the guy who beautifully framed my artwork. He became a friend. He encouraged my forays into different styles of watercolor painting and collage. He always had a kind word and a hug for me. When I was in the hospital getting my first hip replaced, I looked up one day to see young Ben standing by my bed with flowers in hand. 

When Fads and Frames closed, I was not sure what was going to happen to Ben. I hated to see someone with his talent take a humdrum job that did not involve him using his gifts. Fortunately, despite the odds of trying to start a business, Ben took the lemons that had been handed to him and made lemonade! Doing the lion's share of the work himself, Ben renovated an older building in downtown Raymond and opened Benjamin's Framing and Fine Art. Here he displays his own art as well as the offerings of a few fortunate others. If you want something exquisitely framed, make the short drive to Raymond and go see my friend Ben. 

https://www.facebook.com/BenjaminsCustomFramingandFineArtLLC/

https://benjaminbpurvis.com/

I am so proud of Ben. If anyone can make a go of this, he can. 

Second Chances

I've been thinking a lot about second chances lately. I know that I have been granted a number of them in my life and I am thankful for them.

I am getting SO tired of constant social media posts that dredge up transgressions from as many as 50 years ago. Seriously? People can and do change. In one case, a person became a Christian and has issued an apology for actions done as a young person. But no one ever bothers to look up the rest of the story. Instead, they gleefully pass on this antiquated garbage. 

I totally get that in some cases, a second chance should not be given. In cases of physical and/or sexual abuse, it is just too dangerous to grant another chance. In cases where an addict or alcoholic is still actively using, steering clear is a good idea. 

Think about the second chances that you have been given. Have you received a second chance at life due to a medical procedure? Have you been able to beat an addiction? Has someone in the right place at the right time kept you from taking your own life? Has your spouse taken you back after finding out you cheated on him or her and is willing to give your marriage another chance? 

If you have had the gift of a second chance, could it be time to give one to someone else? 

Recovery Musings

I am finally to the stage where I am JUST beginning to think that I did the right thing in getting this second hip replaced. For about the first month or so, I was thinking that I had lost my mind to do this again. 

During this experience, I learned that not all hips are created equal. For some reason, this one has been more painful than my first one 4 years ago. For once, I needed my pain meds for the entire first 2 weeks after surgery. Getting them was a saga best left for another post. 

I have a lot of awfully good friends. They brought me everything from green tea and chocolate, to an entire meal served with a checkered tablecloth, no less! Dietary tried their best to accommodate my food allergies, but the mystery meat mentioned in my previous post was not exactly a palate pleaser. 

After being allotted only two baths a week, I will never take my daily showers for granted again! One person was largely tasked with bathing all 86 residents twice a week. I can't even imagine. 

Certified Nursing Assistants are unbelievably underpaid! And most of mine ended up having up to 24 residents to take care of by themselves. This includes wheelchair-bound residents who have to be lifted into bed, residents who are incontinent, and even residents that fight them when these CNA's are trying to care for them. Minimum wage is just not enough. 

I was fortunate to get some wonderful CNA's. Even as stretched out as they were, most of them really tried to do their best for me. That included having to lift my legs on and off of the bed every time I had to get up for the first week, chase down things I dropped that were beyond the scope of my "grabber", and finding the med nurse when I needed my Percocet. 

My surgery was done with no external staples or stitches. This was a first for me and apparently, some of the nurses and therapists. On more than one occasion, I was asked to "drop trou" so that Dr. Futvoye's handiwork could be seen. After 11 surgeries, it is fortunate that I have little modesty left!

Physical and occupational therapists rock. That is all. 

This recovery has been a little slower than I remember. Of course, I am older. I have developed some other health issues since my last hip replacement. I wear out more quickly. I am still having some breathing issues and I have to stop and rest when I am doing much of anything. Hopefully, this will normalize soon. 

I am thankful that I have no more hips to replace. These babies better last me for the rest of my life.

I don't plan on doing this again! 

Mystery Meat

I have recently become reacquainted with a substance I have not voluntarily encountered since my school years. 

Mystery Meat 

I brought my own lunch in high school, so I had never really encountered mystery meat in all its gastronomic glory until I hit Hinds Junior College. Most of the patties were roughly the same size and shape, but some were beef, some were pork, and some were chicken. We had to ask just what flavor that particular generic looking patty was. Not that they tasted all that different from one another. One day we would have the original dry patty. The next day it might be covered with gravy, tomato sauce, and/or cheese, but was obviously a rehash of the previous days offering. 

Here at the nursing home, we have a generic burger patty. So far, it has been served with gravy, with cheese, with chopped tomatoes, etc over noodles, rice, or potatoes. These offerings take me back to college days. 

And when I get home, Lord willing, I’ll never eat mystery meat again! 

Billy Cannon's Halloween Run

I read today where Billy Cannon passed away at the age of 80. 

Whenever I hear the name Billy Cannon, I automatically remember my Mama telling me about missing this famous Halloween run...and why. 

The story actually begins with my mother being 9 months pregnant with me. October 10th was a home game against Miami. She got up and dressed, thinking she was going to attend the ballgame with her student ticket. To her great chagrin, Daddy was not having her risk going into labor right there in Tiger Stadium. Apparently, Mama was extremely upset by this and sat on a bench outside the stadium, listening to the game and calling Daddy every name in the book. 

Two days later, on October 12th, I was born. 

Mama had a hard time birthing me and had some complications. This was also a time when parents did not take 2 1/2 week old babies out and about like they do now. Because of me, Mama missed Billy Cannon's 83-yard runback against Ole Miss to win the game 7-3. 

I don't think she ever quite forgave me. 

Maybe he can recreate it for her in Heaven. 

Royal Wedding

Yes. I am one of THOSE people. Those people who set alarms for unholy hours to watch royal weddings. 

Years ago, the girls in my dorm at Mississippi College got up at 4 AM to watch Diana marry Prince Charles. Later, I got up early to watch Sarah Ferguson marry Prince Andrew. I arose long before my usual hour to view the wedding of Kate and Prince William. I even remember skipping class years ago while in college to watch Luke and Laura get married on General Hospital! 

I know there are a lot of folks who don't care about royal weddings. But, I love them. I love the specials that are aired in the weeks before, full of British history and tradition. I love the speculation about the dress, the guests, and the music. 

There has been so much tragedy this year with horrible school shootings, natural disasters, unrest, and just plain hatefulness. I know that this wedding is considered frivolous in the grand scheme of things. But, sometimes, I need the escape that such an event provides. I need to see hopeful young people in love. I need to see adorable children all dressed up. I need to see lovely flowers and pretty dresses. I need to hear the gorgeous music.  I need to be reminded of what is beautiful and true in the world. 

I think this couple has a wonderful future ahead and I look forward to seeing great things from them. 

The Power of Words

As I scrolled through Facebook today looking at all the pictures of the mothers and all the praises for said mothers, it made me a little sad. It seems that so many people have or had an idyllic relationship with their mamas. 

I loved my mama. She will be gone 28 years this Christmas night and I still miss her terribly. But, our relationship was not always peaches and cream. We were alike in a lot of ways and we could clash...big time. 

Even after all this time, the things that still cause pain are the words that we said to each other in anger, especially when I was a teenager. There are so many things I wish I could "take back" and I have a feeling that there are things she might have wanted to take back as well.

After my mama got seriously ill, I never knew from one day to the next whether or not she would still be with me the next morning. I also knew that I did not want any last words to her to be angry ones. When she was in pain and sometimes got ugly with me, I would bite my tongue and leave rather than reply with nasty words of my own. Inevitably, the phone would be ringing when I got home and mama would be on the other end with an apology. 

Unkind words hurt. They hurt more than any physical blow. And they cause damage that lasts a lifetime. Think before you speak.

Especially to your mama. 

May 21st

May 21st is the day I have scheduled to get my second hip replaced. 

I am not looking forward to the process, but I know that in the longer term, I will feel much better. I have total confidence in my surgeon, Dr. Matthew Futvoye at Capital Orthopedics. 

I have a much better idea of what to expect this time and I am already doing what I can to make sure this experience goes more smoothly. I have a little over a month to get ready. I am pretending I am Rocky, getting ready to go a few rounds with Apollo Creed. Or The Little Engine that Could. I think I can, I think I can...

After this, I hope I am through replacing parts for a while. I have no desire to be the Bionic Woman before I even hit 60. As my friend, the late Joyalene Oaks told me once, "Karen, after 40, it's patch, patch, patch!" She was not kidding! 

I am already asking for prayers, good thoughts, etc, for a smooth surgery, good nursing care, and transfer to a GOOD nursing home upon release from the hospital. 

Thanks in advance. 

False Witness?

There are six things that the LORD strongly dislikes, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Luke 10:27

I recently read an essay by a pastor that I have not been able to stop thinking about. It talked about bearing false witness in social media contexts. In his (and my) opinion, if we believe that everyone is our neighbor in the eyes of Christ, knowingly posting misleading stories or photos is bearing false witness. 

We all sometimes share things that end up being false. But I think Christians have a duty to be careful as to what we share and to check it out before we post it. I have friends who post untrue things on a daily basis just to stir up resentment about groups of people and divide us further. 

For the record, there is NO "Muhammed al Salad" and he is not forcing a Halal menu on students. 

Starbucks has donated THOUSANDS of pounds of coffee to the USO. (The rumor that they refused to support the military started in 2004, for Heaven's sake!!) 

The photo of Emma Gonzales tearing up the US Constitution is an obvious FAKE!

Muslims are NOT collecting welfare for up to four wives. Government services DO provide manuals and information in Arabic.

Unauthorized immigrants are ineligible for most major federally-funded safety net programs. They are NOT eligible for Social Security, even if they are paying into the system. 

When in doubt, check it out. Don't bear false witness. 

Snakes

It's that time of year again. Time for the snake pictures to hit my Facebook feed. In the words of Indiana Jones: 

"Snakes...why'd it have to be snakes!" 

Much Iike Indiana, I HATE snakes. I have an unreasoning terror of even those that are harmless. I can't bear to see them on the TV or the movie screen, and I don't even like to look at pictures of them. 

Trying to hide all the pictures from my Facebook feed without having to really look at them is quite a feat. I wish Facebook had an extension of some kind to automatically change pictures of snakes to say, puppies or kittens. 

Until then, I will just have to hit the little ... in the upper right-hand corner of the post and hide it as fast as I can. 

Is it true that there are no snakes in Ireland?

Maybe a move is in order. 

Winning?

Lately, on Facebook, I have been seeing a lot of posts about WINNING! It is all about this CHRISTIAN movie, BEATING another fine movie at the box office. Don't get me wrong, I am a Christian. But, this just does not seem to be a "Christian" attitude to me. Personally, I am happy when any movie that I can take children to does well!

Or the "my particular denomination is superior to YOUR denomination." As far as I can tell, Jesus was not a member of any particular church. I wonder what He would think of some Christians claiming superiority over other Christians? I am United Methodist, but I respect my friends of other denominations and other belief systems. 

Life is not a "zero-sum" game. It is possible to for things to be "win-win." I can be happy for my "side" and still be happy for yours (unless you happen to be an Alabama football fan!). 

Let's stop this obsession with winning and just be happy. 

Hamilton

Listening to the Broadway cast album of Hamilton (about 50 times!) I was intrigued and decided to read the Ron Chernow tome that inspired this hit musical. 

I began reading this book on July 10th, 2017. I just finished it today, March 5th, 2017. This was by no means the only book I read during this time period. I just had to take breaks from the intense story of this Founding Father periodically. 

Politics was about as nasty during those first years in our young country as it is now. Instead of social media, there were handbills and newspapers. Through these, usually under pseudonyms, political adversaries attacked each other with creativity and gusto. Today's politicians could certainly take lessons on how to insult with aplomb. 

Hamilton was far from perfect. I think we tend to idolize our Founding Fathers to an unrealistic degree. Hamilton was deeply flawed but equally brilliant. 

The part of the book that interested me the most were the chapters about the time leading up to the duel that ended Hamilton's life at the too early age of 49. This was no spur of the moment, in the heat of passion affair. There were weeks between the challenge and the actual duel. It was enlightening to see the difference between the way Hamilton dealt with his time as opposed the way Aaron Burr did. 

Hamilton was well worth the read. I recommend taking it in sections while having lighter fare to turn to when a break is needed.