The Wedding

Yesterday I sang for a wedding. Not just any wedding, but that of my niece, Amy. I have no children of my own, so my nieces, nephews, and great nieces are special to me. 

The wedding was fairly short and sweet. Because it was not in a church, the "exit music" allowed for some creativity. Amy is a huge fan of the late Elvis Presley, and I cracked up as they exited the chapel area to the strains of "Burning Love!" 

The reception was fun. I got a kick out of watching the young people dance. This was not the lame dancing I remember from my younger days. These kids all knew complex routines to songs such as "Footloose." A tall boy with red hair was obviously having the time of his life as he skillfully dominated the dance floor. 

I must admit, I was extremely impressed with the young people in the bridal party. These kids are future medical professionals, teachers, lawyers, and scientists. They managed the wedding quite well and were unfailingly kind and helpful to me. My hope for the future was renewed as I interacted with these young folks. 

Of course, I think the bride is the most beautiful there ever was. And the groom is a keeper. He loves my niece, and I have gained a nephew. I know that he will take care of her to the best of his ability.

This one is going to stick. 

Lessons

I have learned a lot about myself the week. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I found out just how angry I can get when sufficiently provoked. I realized just how much my art, such as it is, means to me. I have more of my mother in me than I thought. And I have come a long way from the totally non-assertive person who sat crying in a counselor's office 25 years ago. 

I don't want to become one of those perpetually angry and bitter people. You know the type. They are never happy with anything. I am working at not holding on to anger. But, I am learning to be at peace with being human. With losing my cool every now and then. With standing up for myself and what is right. 

Someday, I hope to be more comfortable with justified and properly expressed anger. I am not there yet, but I am working on it. I have many friends to thank for listening to me these past few days and the reassurance they have provided. 

Even Jesus lost his cool with the money changers. Sometimes anger is the appropriate response. 

And that is OK. 



 

June (Off to the Races!)

I looked at my calendar this morning and realized the long awaited month of June had arrived. 

This is going to be an busy, exciting, and emotional month for me and my loved ones.

This weekend, friends arrive to attend a fiberfest and to sing at my little church in Hermanville with me. 


 Next weekend, we get my niece, Amy married off to her beloved Craig. But, not before days of making wedding favors, bridal luncheons, and rehearsal. 

Two days after the wedding, my husband and I leave for his family reunion at Lake Taneycomo, Missouri. As I am not able to be out in the heat to hike and fish, I hope to be inside my air conditioned cabin, painting. Hopefully, I will be able to lure the occasional person in to play a game of Scrabble. 

The weekend I return from the family visiting, We will be saying goodbye to our beloved minister at Hermanville UMC. I am sure that tears will be involved. The following weekend, we greet our new minister. As lay leader, I am working to help make the transition as smooth as possible. 

Looking forward to a crazy, busy, and hopefully, fun June!

 

Small Talk

I have seen this meme and variations on it a number of times. I would not necessarily want to talk about ALL of these things, but, they do beat what passes for much conversation now. 

I do not watch much network TV these days (by choice), so I know little about the popular reality shows. I don't like crime shows because they are too much like the news. I don't watch but an hour of THAT a day, either. My lack of a TV habit takes me out of many conversations. 

I don't like to tear people down, as a rule. Certain politicians can be exempt from this at times!

College football is my small talk "saving grace." I can usually hold my own when talking about my LSU Tigers. And, there is always the ever changing Mississippi weather. 

Conversation, of course, changes depending on the company. Fortunately, I have friends who enjoy deep conversations on faith, politics, music, art, history, psychology, literature,  advances in science and medicine, and finding ways to make the world a better place. 

Small talk does have its place. In many circumstances, it is the only appropriate option. With some, that is really all I want. This just makes me all the more thankful for people who want to talk about the things that interest them and me as well. I love conversation that challenges me. Conversation that educates and stimulates me. 

Give me more than small talk. 

Closet Cleaning

About a year ago, I bought the Marie Kondo book entitled The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I was not brave enough at the time to go "whole hog" on my closet.

I had lost quite a bit of weight since going on thyroid meds, but was still too scared to really weed out things that were several sizes too large for me now. With the help of my Fitbit, Synthoid, and being able to eat healthier since my gallbladder surgery, I finally felt confident that I could get rid of the "40 pounds ago" clothes.

My wire closet system was already in place, but burdened down with 4 sizes of clothes and shoes that were too wide now that my feet have stopped swelling. (Thanks again, Synthroid!) 

Monday morning, I took a deep breath, gathered my trash bags, and began the scarey job of emptying my closet. One thing that helped me let go of things I could no longer use was the knowledge that I could send my things to The WareHouse and help Lifting Lives Ministries. I took no prisoners as I got rid of anything I could not wear right now. 

Then, I organized the things I could still wear using the Marie Kondo method. I folded my sweaters, T-Shirts, and nightclothes into rectangles (I have very little drawer space), and put them in wire baskets one behind the other. Everything is easy to see and get to. 

Best of all, having my closet clean is giving me incentive to try to get some of the rest of my house in order. 

Stay tuned. 

Shona Congo

Most of those who know me, know about my passion for Shona Congo. Four disabled, but absolutely amazing women sew beautiful bags that help support their families. These bags are distributed by a wonderful woman, Dawn Hurley, and the women get the fair profits of their labor. I guess my own mobility issues with my congenital myopathy just drew me to this particular cause.

Being disabled makes these ladies targets for those who would harm them. Two of them have now fled with their families.  Argentine and Mapendo have had to go to a refugee camp. This is not the first time these women have had to pack up and travel miles, often on foot, to seek safety.

The good news is that a non-profit organization, Athabasca Interfaith Refugee Sponsorship Society, is applying to sponsor them for resettlement in Canada. The money has to be raised before they can move to Canada, so that they have enough to live on for a year. This gives them time to start learning a new language and find jobs. Mapendo and Argentine already have sewing skills that will help them earn their livings in Canada as they will be able to continue sewing their bags there. 

I know money is terribly tight for most people I know right now, but, if you have a little to spare and a heart for the plight of people from Eastern Congo, every little bit will help. Make it a really early birthday gift to me or something!  

For more of their story, check out the Shona Congo website. You might even see a bag that you just can't resist!

http://www.shonacongostore.com/overview/ 

 

 

Musings of a “Cradle” Methodist

I was baptized in the Methodist Church when I was an infant. My great grandfather’s family built Pine Ridge (now united) Methodist Church in Kentwood, Louisiana back in 1896.

Since then, I have been a member of Redbone UMC, Crawford Street UMC, and now Hermanville, UMC.

Among long time members of a group like the United Methodist Church, there seems to be sort of a collective memory. We Methodists tend to love our routines and traditions. We know that when we recite the Apostle’s Creed on Sunday mornings, that thousands of other United Methodists are reciting it as well. We crave the opportunity to pray as a group. We love including our Weslyan hymns in worship. The Methodist tradition runs deep in our souls.

I have occasionally considered leaving the United Methodist denomination. I visited other churches. But, there was always something missing. I always come “home” to the traditional United Methodist service. 

 

Boundaries

This book was recommended to me years ago. I can't remember exactly who told me about it, but reading it was a life changing experience. 

Over the years, I have recommended this book to a number of people, including my own nephew, just this week. This book is written from a Christian perspective, which is especially helpful to those who have allowed fellow "Christians" to make them feel guilty if they say no to anything. 

Once I owned my feelings, I could manage them, at least most of the time. I stopped allowing people to disrespect me. I stopped allowing people to manipulate me through guilt. I stopped allowing people to emotionally abuse me, although they claimed it was because they "wanted what was best for me."

There will always be people who see those who are trying to set healthy boundaries as their personal challenge. They are the ones who will call at times you have already stated are inconvenient. These folks have no regard for your time or energy. They will create a crisis to try to get friends and family to drop everything and come running. 

I don't always succeed in my boundary setting, but practice makes perfect. And I intend to keep practicing! 

 

Empty Nest

It happened so fast. I thought I was going to have more time. Seems like just yesterday...

My baby bird has grown up and flown away, taking mama and papa bird with her (or him). In less than 3 weeks, she went from being an egg, to what seemed like a perpetually open mouth, to this adorable little fledgling. 

Then, suddenly, she was gone. The nest empty. The azalea bush bare looking without the bright red of the papa cardinal flying in to help feed the baby. 

I have been ridiculously happy watching these birds. It has been an amazing experience to watch the mama build her nest, lay her eggs, and hatch and feed the baby. 

They grow up so fast...

 

The Gift

No matter how much we think we are loved, the cynic in many of us occasionally wonders if anyone would REALLY care if we were no longer here. We fantasize about being able to somehow attend our own funerals and see who the true mourners are. 

This week, due to the sad passing of a woman bearing the same first and last name, and being close to my own age, I was given a bit of a chance to see how people would react to my passing. I have had phone calls from people with tears in their voices, telling me how glad they were that I was not the Karen Sanders who had passed on. I walked in Cracker Barrel where my longtime waitress, Nancy, looked at me as if she had seen a ghost. With tears in her eyes, she told me she had been crying for two days, thinking I was gone. What a humbling and emotional experience this has been.

Of course, some friends and family knew that the birth date under the name in the Riles funeral ad was not mine and were not worried, thank goodness.

My heart goes out to the family and friends of Karen Cynthia Sanders. May she rest in perfect peace. 

Happy Wednesday!

Papa cardinal began showing up a few days ago. Mama was staying on the nest almost full time. I was officially on "baby watch." 

Yesterday afternoon, I saw the first little beak pop up above the nest. I was so happy that my husband joked that I must feel like passing out cigars! 

I can't see inside the nest, so I have no idea how many babies there are, but I am hoping to see more little beaks popping up soon. 

I woke up this morning feeling ridiculously happy. I spent much of my late night hours reading back over the life and words of Jesus. Luke 10:27 is one of my favorite verses and is the crux of who Jesus was and what he wanted for this world. 

 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

I also woke up with this wonderful Mama Cass tune running through my head. Have a listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfQsngNoV7I 

Madama Butterfly

Yesterday, I had the experience of seeing a Metropolitan Opera simulcast via Fathom Events at Tinseltown in Pearl. It was one of the most wonderful things that I have ever seen in my life. And, I have seen a lot. 

My introduction to opera was through my mother's recordings of Met performances back in the 1950's and '60's. One of these recordings was Madama Butterfly. Dorothy Kirsten was the soprano lead and Daniele Barioni was the tenor. I fell instantly and irrevocably in love with Puccini. 
However, I had never seen a stage production of Butterfly until yesterday. 

Dressed in my butterfly sweater and my "Un Bel Di" bracelet from operabracelets.com, I went to experience Butterfly. I was absolutely enchanted. The costumes were exquisite, the sets, simple, and elegant, and Kristine Opolais, and Roberto Alagna were perfect for Cio Cio San and Pinkerton. They are gifted vocalists who are also physically appealing enough to be believable in the roles. 

There is supposed to be an encore at 6:30 PM at Tinseltown in Pearl if you are interested in this amazing event. 

 

The Bird

I admit it. I have never been much of a bird person. I saw the Hitchcock movie when I was a child and it completely freaked me out. 

But, a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that a cardinal was building a nest in the azalea bush right outside the room in my home that I use for an office. She is probably not six feet from where I sit when I am working on my computer, albeit separated by a window and a screen. 


I became instantly fascinated as I watched her build her nest. She would bring in more twigs and leaves, then sit on the nest, changing positions every five minutes or so. I guess she was making sure that something she was going to be sitting on for a while was as comfortable as possible. She is spending a little more time in the nest each day. I have not seen her mate around, so she apparently has not laid her eggs. I hear cardinal daddies are pretty good at helping keep the eggs warm. Poor mama has to go start building yet another nest. 

Now, I find myself feeling a bit like a mother hen! I worried that this weeks storms and wind might harm the nest. I have been concerned about possible predators. Do I feed her or will that attract creatures who might do her and her babies harm?? My husband is not helpful in his "that's just nature" approach! This is MY cardinal! 

I have named her "Mamacarla" in honor of a friend who has a nurturing soul. 

Stay tuned for the further adventures of Mamacarla and the babies. 

 

Broken

The tragedy in Brussels today made me think about a lot of things. How tired I am of senseless violence. How tired I am of some of the reactions to the senseless violence. But, most of all, how sad it would be to have one's last words to a loved ones be spoken in anger. 

Thankfully, most of us have a chance to apologize to our loved ones after we strike out in anger. Tempers cool, more appropriate words are spoken, and things are at least a bit better. 

I know, that in my case, the words that people have battered me with hurt far more than physical blows. I still occasionally tear up when I remember things that have been said to me. "Sorry" didn't heal the wounds. That took time, and some of them have never totally scabbed over. 

In the heightened uncertainty of today's world, I would encourage everyone to think before they speak in anger. Leave the situation for a time. Write a letter expressing feelings, then burn it and write one that expresses them appropriately. Never assume that you will see your friend or loved one again. Try to part on terms that may have to last a lifetime.

 

Voiceless Again

Once again, Holy Week approaches and I am not able to sing. Unlike last year, my vocal cords are only severely inflamed due to being intubated and getting the crud shortly after. They will heal. I just have to have patience. If I behave now, there is a possibility that I might sing by Easter Sunday. 

Holy Week and Easter is my favorite time of the church year. I love the scriptures, contemplation, and music. It seems ironic that not just one year, but two years in a row, I should be unable to do what I do. Sing. Thankfully, I have much more of a peace about things than I did this time last year. Easter will happen, with or without my singing voice. 

Speaking on the phone is especially taxing. So, feel free to email, text, Facebook, or write me a letter. I will be resting these vocal cords. 

Nurses

Last week, I ended up in the hospital having to have a sooner than expected gallbladder surgery. Because I am a bit medically complicated, this "23 hour" procedure turned into an almost 6 day stay at River Region.

For me, hospital stays always boil down to one thing. 

The nursing care. 

During this stay, my nursing care was absolutely exceptional. First was Sharon, who worked to get me settled in despite not one, but two codes called that afternoon on my floor. The next day, as I was trying to get dietary to send up something I could eat, (Jello!)  the nurse I called "Sic em' Sheila" had the dietary manager come talk to me personally. Anita, who is not even a floor nurse anymore, came and finally got my new IV started after others could not get my notoriously difficult veins to cooperate. The day of surgery, I had a wonderful nurse, Mioshae, who knew firsthand what it was like to be on the "other side" as a kidney transplant patient herself. Nurse Debra stole me an extra pillow to help make that miserable bed tolerable. And it was quite easy to remember nurse Karen's name.  Saturday night, when the computers were down, I had the old school "dream team" of Sandra the nurse, and Barbara the aide,  who went back to paper and pen with no problems. 

I met many other wonderful people during my stay, but they will have to wait for another post. This one is for the the real hospital rock stars. Those nurses!
 

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Cheers debuted during my last year of (my first tour) of graduate school in 1982. I heard people talking about this show, but I never really had time to watch it. I did like the catchy theme song: Where Everybody Knows Your Name. 

I tend to choose the restaurants I frequent not only for the food, but for the personnel. I have my favorites. Nancy at Cracker Barrel has been waiting on me since they opened in Vicksburg. The folks at Martins at Midtown are always pleasant. The waitresses at Goldie's know what my husband is going to order before he orders it. Even the young lady at the Frontage Road McDonald's knows that I am headed to church when I stop there early on Sunday mornings to get my weekly McGriddle and sweet tea. My favorite place in Vicksburg to eat is Billy's. Brady,  Karen, Jessica, Sarah, Kylie, and TyAnn all take good care of me. I know that I am going to get consistent food and service. 

I am saddened when favorite restaurants change hands or staff that I am particularly fond of leaves. Toney's is not quite the same without Mike, who left to become a car salesman. I miss Brian at Martin's. Another favorite place has disappointingly changed ownership and personnel many times in just a few months. I guess I am just getting old and crochety. When I spend my dollars in restaurants, I don't want it to be like a box of chocolates. I want to know what I am going to get! 





 

David Bowie

I was saddened to wake up this morning to the news that David Bowie had passed away from cancer at the age of 69. However, news of his passing brought back a precious memory of my mother. 

Betty Nelson absolutely LOVED to play Trivial Pursuit. She was a master at this game and almost never lost. One particular night, we were playing the Baby Boomer Edition. In this edition, the sports and leisure category was replaced with a category for pop music RPM. 

Mama was a Broadway baby. She loved classical music and show tunes. Her pop music knowledge pretty much began and ended with Barry Manilow and The Carpenters. So, when she ended up in the center one evening and the rest of the players were allowed to choose the category we thought would most likely stump her, of course we chose RPM. 

The question was "Which pop star played John Merrick, also known as The Elephant Man, on Broadway?" 

Mama just looked at us with a smug smile and hollered DAVID BOWIE! Unbelieving, we looked at the card, and, sure enough, that was the answer. She basked in that victory for years. 

Rest in peace, David Bowie, and thanks for the memories. 

Send Snacks!

Honestly, I have been so busy trying to recover from Christmas, visit with out of town company, and get my ducks in a row for the new year, that I have not had time to pay too much attention to what has been going on in Oregon. 

One thing I have heard is that these folks took over a federal building and neglected to bring any food. Seriously?? That is one of the first things I would think of. I always know where the nearest snack is and what I have to do to get it! If I am going somewhere, I might not take a lot of clothes or jewelry, but honey, I am going to take food. 

It would not take long to get me out of anywhere that did not have a ready supply of food and sweet tea. 

Those folks need to go home and get a cup of hot chocolate and some cookies. 

Christmas Reflections

Fortunately, blogging about my good December did not jinx my Christmas.

Christmas Eve was lovely. I did some holiday baking for the first time in many years. Sugar cookies, oatmeal cookies, and mini pecan pies were put on trays and in goodie bags to be given to friends and family. 

It was fun to be around some young great nieces and nephews who are new to the family this year. Seeing their excitement about Christmas made the holiday more jolly this year. 

Then, I went to Christmas Eve Communion with my friend Alex Brown and his family at Porter's Chapel UMC. Hermanville does not have a Christmas Eve service, and I have been looking for a place to "be" on Christmas Eve. The pianist playing in the foyer graciously allowed me to sing while people went in and out of the church. I am already planning to go back next year. 

This morning, I stuffed my eggs and went to Granna's house. Granna is my sister's mother in law, but she has adopted my entire family. I am grateful that she invites us all to dinner so that everyone can spend time together. Sharing the holiday with one of my niece and future nephew's friends from England was a joy. I came home to a lovely nap and rented movies from iTunes.

I can't remember when I have had a nicer Christmas.