Ben

I can't remember exactly when I met Ben Purvis, but I can remember where. Dissatisfied with the quality of framing I was receiving at a local frame shop, I stopped by Fads and Frames in Clinton. I met this sweet young man in a tattered ball cap and I liked him immediately. 

It soon became obvious that he was head and shoulders above anyone who had ever framed anything for me. An amazing artist in his own right, he has an unfailing eye for the perfect colors, textures, and styles in frames and mats. I soon began going to Ben for all my framing needs. 

Over the years, he became more than the guy who beautifully framed my artwork. He became a friend. He encouraged my forays into different styles of watercolor painting and collage. He always had a kind word and a hug for me. When I was in the hospital getting my first hip replaced, I looked up one day to see young Ben standing by my bed with flowers in hand. 

When Fads and Frames closed, I was not sure what was going to happen to Ben. I hated to see someone with his talent take a humdrum job that did not involve him using his gifts. Fortunately, despite the odds of trying to start a business, Ben took the lemons that had been handed to him and made lemonade! Doing the lion's share of the work himself, Ben renovated an older building in downtown Raymond and opened Benjamin's Framing and Fine Art. Here he displays his own art as well as the offerings of a few fortunate others. If you want something exquisitely framed, make the short drive to Raymond and go see my friend Ben. 

https://www.facebook.com/BenjaminsCustomFramingandFineArtLLC/

https://benjaminbpurvis.com/

I am so proud of Ben. If anyone can make a go of this, he can. 

Second Chances

I've been thinking a lot about second chances lately. I know that I have been granted a number of them in my life and I am thankful for them.

I am getting SO tired of constant social media posts that dredge up transgressions from as many as 50 years ago. Seriously? People can and do change. In one case, a person became a Christian and has issued an apology for actions done as a young person. But no one ever bothers to look up the rest of the story. Instead, they gleefully pass on this antiquated garbage. 

I totally get that in some cases, a second chance should not be given. In cases of physical and/or sexual abuse, it is just too dangerous to grant another chance. In cases where an addict or alcoholic is still actively using, steering clear is a good idea. 

Think about the second chances that you have been given. Have you received a second chance at life due to a medical procedure? Have you been able to beat an addiction? Has someone in the right place at the right time kept you from taking your own life? Has your spouse taken you back after finding out you cheated on him or her and is willing to give your marriage another chance? 

If you have had the gift of a second chance, could it be time to give one to someone else? 

Recovery Musings

I am finally to the stage where I am JUST beginning to think that I did the right thing in getting this second hip replaced. For about the first month or so, I was thinking that I had lost my mind to do this again. 

During this experience, I learned that not all hips are created equal. For some reason, this one has been more painful than my first one 4 years ago. For once, I needed my pain meds for the entire first 2 weeks after surgery. Getting them was a saga best left for another post. 

I have a lot of awfully good friends. They brought me everything from green tea and chocolate, to an entire meal served with a checkered tablecloth, no less! Dietary tried their best to accommodate my food allergies, but the mystery meat mentioned in my previous post was not exactly a palate pleaser. 

After being allotted only two baths a week, I will never take my daily showers for granted again! One person was largely tasked with bathing all 86 residents twice a week. I can't even imagine. 

Certified Nursing Assistants are unbelievably underpaid! And most of mine ended up having up to 24 residents to take care of by themselves. This includes wheelchair-bound residents who have to be lifted into bed, residents who are incontinent, and even residents that fight them when these CNA's are trying to care for them. Minimum wage is just not enough. 

I was fortunate to get some wonderful CNA's. Even as stretched out as they were, most of them really tried to do their best for me. That included having to lift my legs on and off of the bed every time I had to get up for the first week, chase down things I dropped that were beyond the scope of my "grabber", and finding the med nurse when I needed my Percocet. 

My surgery was done with no external staples or stitches. This was a first for me and apparently, some of the nurses and therapists. On more than one occasion, I was asked to "drop trou" so that Dr. Futvoye's handiwork could be seen. After 11 surgeries, it is fortunate that I have little modesty left!

Physical and occupational therapists rock. That is all. 

This recovery has been a little slower than I remember. Of course, I am older. I have developed some other health issues since my last hip replacement. I wear out more quickly. I am still having some breathing issues and I have to stop and rest when I am doing much of anything. Hopefully, this will normalize soon. 

I am thankful that I have no more hips to replace. These babies better last me for the rest of my life.

I don't plan on doing this again! 

Mystery Meat

I have recently become reacquainted with a substance I have not voluntarily encountered since my school years. 

Mystery Meat 

I brought my own lunch in high school, so I had never really encountered mystery meat in all its gastronomic glory until I hit Hinds Junior College. Most of the patties were roughly the same size and shape, but some were beef, some were pork, and some were chicken. We had to ask just what flavor that particular generic looking patty was. Not that they tasted all that different from one another. One day we would have the original dry patty. The next day it might be covered with gravy, tomato sauce, and/or cheese, but was obviously a rehash of the previous days offering. 

Here at the nursing home, we have a generic burger patty. So far, it has been served with gravy, with cheese, with chopped tomatoes, etc over noodles, rice, or potatoes. These offerings take me back to college days. 

And when I get home, Lord willing, I’ll never eat mystery meat again! 

Billy Cannon's Halloween Run

I read today where Billy Cannon passed away at the age of 80. 

Whenever I hear the name Billy Cannon, I automatically remember my Mama telling me about missing this famous Halloween run...and why. 

The story actually begins with my mother being 9 months pregnant with me. October 10th was a home game against Miami. She got up and dressed, thinking she was going to attend the ballgame with her student ticket. To her great chagrin, Daddy was not having her risk going into labor right there in Tiger Stadium. Apparently, Mama was extremely upset by this and sat on a bench outside the stadium, listening to the game and calling Daddy every name in the book. 

Two days later, on October 12th, I was born. 

Mama had a hard time birthing me and had some complications. This was also a time when parents did not take 2 1/2 week old babies out and about like they do now. Because of me, Mama missed Billy Cannon's 83-yard runback against Ole Miss to win the game 7-3. 

I don't think she ever quite forgave me. 

Maybe he can recreate it for her in Heaven. 

Royal Wedding

Yes. I am one of THOSE people. Those people who set alarms for unholy hours to watch royal weddings. 

Years ago, the girls in my dorm at Mississippi College got up at 4 AM to watch Diana marry Prince Charles. Later, I got up early to watch Sarah Ferguson marry Prince Andrew. I arose long before my usual hour to view the wedding of Kate and Prince William. I even remember skipping class years ago while in college to watch Luke and Laura get married on General Hospital! 

I know there are a lot of folks who don't care about royal weddings. But, I love them. I love the specials that are aired in the weeks before, full of British history and tradition. I love the speculation about the dress, the guests, and the music. 

There has been so much tragedy this year with horrible school shootings, natural disasters, unrest, and just plain hatefulness. I know that this wedding is considered frivolous in the grand scheme of things. But, sometimes, I need the escape that such an event provides. I need to see hopeful young people in love. I need to see adorable children all dressed up. I need to see lovely flowers and pretty dresses. I need to hear the gorgeous music.  I need to be reminded of what is beautiful and true in the world. 

I think this couple has a wonderful future ahead and I look forward to seeing great things from them. 

The Power of Words

As I scrolled through Facebook today looking at all the pictures of the mothers and all the praises for said mothers, it made me a little sad. It seems that so many people have or had an idyllic relationship with their mamas. 

I loved my mama. She will be gone 28 years this Christmas night and I still miss her terribly. But, our relationship was not always peaches and cream. We were alike in a lot of ways and we could clash...big time. 

Even after all this time, the things that still cause pain are the words that we said to each other in anger, especially when I was a teenager. There are so many things I wish I could "take back" and I have a feeling that there are things she might have wanted to take back as well.

After my mama got seriously ill, I never knew from one day to the next whether or not she would still be with me the next morning. I also knew that I did not want any last words to her to be angry ones. When she was in pain and sometimes got ugly with me, I would bite my tongue and leave rather than reply with nasty words of my own. Inevitably, the phone would be ringing when I got home and mama would be on the other end with an apology. 

Unkind words hurt. They hurt more than any physical blow. And they cause damage that lasts a lifetime. Think before you speak.

Especially to your mama. 

May 21st

May 21st is the day I have scheduled to get my second hip replaced. 

I am not looking forward to the process, but I know that in the longer term, I will feel much better. I have total confidence in my surgeon, Dr. Matthew Futvoye at Capital Orthopedics. 

I have a much better idea of what to expect this time and I am already doing what I can to make sure this experience goes more smoothly. I have a little over a month to get ready. I am pretending I am Rocky, getting ready to go a few rounds with Apollo Creed. Or The Little Engine that Could. I think I can, I think I can...

After this, I hope I am through replacing parts for a while. I have no desire to be the Bionic Woman before I even hit 60. As my friend, the late Joyalene Oaks told me once, "Karen, after 40, it's patch, patch, patch!" She was not kidding! 

I am already asking for prayers, good thoughts, etc, for a smooth surgery, good nursing care, and transfer to a GOOD nursing home upon release from the hospital. 

Thanks in advance. 

False Witness?

There are six things that the LORD strongly dislikes, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Luke 10:27

I recently read an essay by a pastor that I have not been able to stop thinking about. It talked about bearing false witness in social media contexts. In his (and my) opinion, if we believe that everyone is our neighbor in the eyes of Christ, knowingly posting misleading stories or photos is bearing false witness. 

We all sometimes share things that end up being false. But I think Christians have a duty to be careful as to what we share and to check it out before we post it. I have friends who post untrue things on a daily basis just to stir up resentment about groups of people and divide us further. 

For the record, there is NO "Muhammed al Salad" and he is not forcing a Halal menu on students. 

Starbucks has donated THOUSANDS of pounds of coffee to the USO. (The rumor that they refused to support the military started in 2004, for Heaven's sake!!) 

The photo of Emma Gonzales tearing up the US Constitution is an obvious FAKE!

Muslims are NOT collecting welfare for up to four wives. Government services DO provide manuals and information in Arabic.

Unauthorized immigrants are ineligible for most major federally-funded safety net programs. They are NOT eligible for Social Security, even if they are paying into the system. 

When in doubt, check it out. Don't bear false witness. 

Snakes

It's that time of year again. Time for the snake pictures to hit my Facebook feed. In the words of Indiana Jones: 

"Snakes...why'd it have to be snakes!" 

Much Iike Indiana, I HATE snakes. I have an unreasoning terror of even those that are harmless. I can't bear to see them on the TV or the movie screen, and I don't even like to look at pictures of them. 

Trying to hide all the pictures from my Facebook feed without having to really look at them is quite a feat. I wish Facebook had an extension of some kind to automatically change pictures of snakes to say, puppies or kittens. 

Until then, I will just have to hit the little ... in the upper right-hand corner of the post and hide it as fast as I can. 

Is it true that there are no snakes in Ireland?

Maybe a move is in order. 

Winning?

Lately, on Facebook, I have been seeing a lot of posts about WINNING! It is all about this CHRISTIAN movie, BEATING another fine movie at the box office. Don't get me wrong, I am a Christian. But, this just does not seem to be a "Christian" attitude to me. Personally, I am happy when any movie that I can take children to does well!

Or the "my particular denomination is superior to YOUR denomination." As far as I can tell, Jesus was not a member of any particular church. I wonder what He would think of some Christians claiming superiority over other Christians? I am United Methodist, but I respect my friends of other denominations and other belief systems. 

Life is not a "zero-sum" game. It is possible to for things to be "win-win." I can be happy for my "side" and still be happy for yours (unless you happen to be an Alabama football fan!). 

Let's stop this obsession with winning and just be happy. 

Hamilton

Listening to the Broadway cast album of Hamilton (about 50 times!) I was intrigued and decided to read the Ron Chernow tome that inspired this hit musical. 

I began reading this book on July 10th, 2017. I just finished it today, March 5th, 2017. This was by no means the only book I read during this time period. I just had to take breaks from the intense story of this Founding Father periodically. 

Politics was about as nasty during those first years in our young country as it is now. Instead of social media, there were handbills and newspapers. Through these, usually under pseudonyms, political adversaries attacked each other with creativity and gusto. Today's politicians could certainly take lessons on how to insult with aplomb. 

Hamilton was far from perfect. I think we tend to idolize our Founding Fathers to an unrealistic degree. Hamilton was deeply flawed but equally brilliant. 

The part of the book that interested me the most were the chapters about the time leading up to the duel that ended Hamilton's life at the too early age of 49. This was no spur of the moment, in the heat of passion affair. There were weeks between the challenge and the actual duel. It was enlightening to see the difference between the way Hamilton dealt with his time as opposed the way Aaron Burr did. 

Hamilton was well worth the read. I recommend taking it in sections while having lighter fare to turn to when a break is needed. 

Promote What You Love

Facebook has a nice new feature that allows one to "snooze" a person or page for 30 days. 

I find myself using this feature, and the "unfollow but still stay friends" feature more and more these days. I am tired of people calling those who do not agree with them tacky names and posting mean memes about them on their public pages. 

I am also tired of seeing people who I know have needed financial help not that long ago, shaming other people for being poor and needing help. How quickly they forget. 

I am also tired of people posting things that simply are not true! Just because it is on Facebook does not mean it is carved in stone. Look on some of the fact-checking sites before blindly passing on garbage. 

Better yet, focus on the good stuff! What nice things are happening in your lives? Even in the bad times, there is usually at least one good thing that happens in a day. Post that! 

If you have not heard from me or I have not "liked" your posts, it probably has nothing to do with that so-called algorithm. I probably just need a break from the negativity for a while. 

I'm not saying I won't ever post anything negative. But, as much as it possible, I am going to focus on the good stuff. 

Random Musings

So far, February has been a largely "lost" month thanks to the flu. My poor husband spent his 64th birthday taking care of me instead of celebrating. I hope to make it up to him when I am all better. I did let him know that I would both still need him and feed him now that he has reached the age of the popular Beatles tune. 

Of course, the most frustrating thing for me is the sore throat/hoarseness/loss of voice. This has become an almost yearly "thing" for me and I have learned that the best way to deal with it is to just rest it and wait for my voice to come back. I haven't been to church all month. Not my norm.

There have been some positives. Being "in" gave me time to finish an art project that I had been working on for weeks. I have been looking for ways to "do" art with my eyes and hands giving me fits and I was very pleased with this collage. 

Another nice thing happening while I am down is the Winter Olympics. I am a figure skating fanatic and every 4 years I become a total couch potato for 2 weeks. I have also learned to enjoy curling of all things and I enjoy many of the other events as well. If I have to be down, I am thankful for this timing!

I am past ready to resume normal activities, but my doc tells me that may be a week or more away. I already have another art project going and another week of Olympics to watch.

I can manage. 

Cooking

I must admit, in recent years I have not had a great deal of interest in cooking. I considered dining out one of my superpowers. With my husband and I often going in different directions, it was easier to just pick up something than cook. 

Then came the debilitating stomach pain and the effective, but terribly limiting FODMAP diet. Apparently, I do not have enough sugar receptors in my gut any longer to digest my food properly. FODMAP is supposed to be short term, but I have not been able to successfully reintroduce anything on a regular basis. 

https://www.dietvsdisease.org/diy-low-fodmap-diet/

Coupled with multiple severe good allergies and reflux, this makes dining out much more of a challenge. Locally owned restaurants have been great to cater to me, but I get very tired of grilled chicken, hamburger patties, potatoes, eggs, and cheese which now make up the bulk of my diet. 

So, I am learning how to cook things that I can have. Fortunately, gluten-free foods are becoming more popular and I have been able to find everything from gluten-free pancake mix to gluten-free pizza crust that actually taste good. Coconut milk is working well with most recipes. I am stuffing my own twice baked potatoes. I have found some wonderful gluten-free pasta and have experimented with sauces. I have found alternatives to the garlic and onions I miss so much. 

I'll never be Julia Child. But, it is nice to get a bit more variety in my diet. 

Sometimes I can even coax friends over to come eat with me. 

Bon Appetite! 

Snooze Button

Facebook has a new feature. It allows one to "snooze" a person or page for 30 days. 

So today, I hit the snooze button multiple times. I am tired of much of what I see on Facebook and this helps make it more manageable. 

I am mainly tired of the personal attacks on people who politics are different from someone else's. I am not talking about a civil debate. I am talking about calling people names like "Rethuglican" or "Libtard." What good does that do exactly? And I am disappointed in a number of people who are using this language and/or unkind images to make their points. Others I just expect it from, so it is not a surprise. Snooze. 

I also am snoozing some folks who constantly make negative posts. I may be having a lousy day, but unless I am asking for prayer for a specific situation, I am going to try to find something uplifting to post most of the time. Something that strikes my funny bone or something that inspires me. 

I unfriend as a last resort. But, I have done it. 

Now if I could find something to automatically snooze all pictures of snakes for the duration, I would really be in business! 

Christmas Eve Musings

On Christmas Eve night, I am usually awake hours after my husband has gone off to dreamland, trying to wind down from my relatively few Christmas preparations and my singing for one or more church services. 

I think of Christmases past, both happy and sad. I have been blessed with a nice, peaceful Christmas so far this year and every year I have such a Christmas, I am beyond grateful.

I think of my friends who are not having a merry Christmas. Those grieving the loss of loved ones, homes, jobs, relationships and dreams. And I hope they can find some glimmer of joy in their darkness. 

I think of my friends who just don't enjoy the holiday. Money, gifts, crowds, and the need to be "on" just sucks the joy out of the season for them. I wish them pockets of peace and calm. 

I also think of my friends who have to make everything perfect and are simply devastated when things do not go as expected. I wish for them some flexibility and ability to roll with the punches!

After tomorrow, for better or worse, Christmas 2017 will be over for most. For me, it will be the first day of the 12 days of Christmas. I am going to enjoy every one. 

Christmas Cards

For the first time in our 34 year marriage, my husband and I did not send out Christmas cards together. I have a group of mostly elderly friends that I send postcards to several times a year. An app on my phone can take my art and make it into a lovely, glossy postcard with a message on the back. My handwriting has suffered due to nerve issues in my neck and hands and this is a way to let people know that I am thinking about them that is manageable for me. 

But, usually, Bill and I send out some regular cards to friends and family. I like to write at least something personal in each one. And, I do enjoy doing it. This year, with the medical procedures and doctor visits taking up large chunks of my days, I just did not seem to have the energy left to do proper cards. Neither did my better half. 

I hope to resume the tradition next year. But, I also hope that my family and friends know that I care about them 365 days a year, not just at Christmas. And next year, there will be cards! 

The New Fridge

Recently, our 20+-year-old refrigerator was beginning to have problems that were more costly to fix than the price of a new one. It was time to go shopping, so off to the local Cowboy Maloney, we went. 

Our last refrigerator was a side by side and I liked not having frozen food fall on my feet. The style was set. I was lobbying for our first refrigerator with an ice maker, but my husband was unsure. "Just one more thing to break down," he grumbled. 

When we got to the store, we discovered that we could not even buy a side by side without an ice maker and water in the door. As luck would have it, my husband was going to be dragged into the 20th, if not the 21st century, whether he liked it or not! 

After a week of this luxury, I can't imagine how we lived without it! The first thing I want in the morning is a glass of half sweet/half unsweet tea. Now I can have it with my own crushed ice. The crew at Sonic on Hall's Ferry is probably wondering what happened to me. I still have to have my Sonic ice fix, but it is nice to have this option right at my fingertips. 

The funny thing is how much the hubby likes it. He is as hooked as I am. 

Maybe worse. 

Advent

I have not put up a Christmas tree, nor have I set up any decorations. I have not been to any Christmas themed events. I have not addressed one Christmas card and I have not even begun playing Christmas music yet. 

Instead, I am preparing for the first Sunday in Advent tomorrow. That lovely time of anticipation and waiting for the birth of Jesus Christ. We will light the first candle, the HOPE candle, on the advent wreath. We will sing O Come, O Come, Emmanuel for our hymn. But, we won't "Christmas" just yet. 

I have found that, if I do things too early, the luster of Christmas dims with the familiarity. The tree, even though artificial, can seem a bit careworn by the real Christmas season. The carols, although some of my favorite music in the world, get old if they are all I hear in December. I would rather wait a bit and enjoy them more fully as Christmas Day approaches. I want people to get my Christmas cards a little later after the early birds have sent theirs in. I have seen Christmas weeks where everything fun had already been done in the weeks before. 

I realize that those with children and grandchildren have to go after those toys while they are able to be had. Those entertaining need to get a jump on the preparations. And the fun must be had while it is available. 

But, wouldn't it be nice to just back up a bit, relax, and enjoy the season of Advent?