One of THOSE Dreams...

Last night was one of THOSE nights. You know the ones. You toss and turn. And you have one of those seemingly endless dreams.

In this dream, I had bought an old store and was renovating it to be my new home. It was quite beautiful, painted in shades of my favorite green. It had lots of large windows and the scenery was lovely.

As I was admiring the new home of my dreams, my (long deceased) mother appeared. She began berating me for not getting on a ladder and helping with the work. Of course, I was not able to do this. I woke, feeling helpless and ashamed.

It does not take a dream interpreter to figure this one out. It seems like there has been a message in much of what I have been reading and watching lately of seizing the day, making the most of the time I have, and being productive.

Unfortuately, for me, sometimes seizing the day is being able to get out of bed and get dressed. Making the most of the time I have may involve taking one nap instead of two. As for being productive? It took me three hours, on and off, to do one load of laundry yesterday.

But, then I look at the other things I did yesterday. I had time to encourage my friends. I had the patience to help 11 year old Sam start a blog in hopes of sharpening her writing skills, and I laughed with my husband at the silliness of Frasier on TV. If I had been "whole" I might have been too busy to do any of these.

I miss the old me. But, I am making peace with the me that I am now. Slowly.