I added two days of complete vocal rest to the doctor's order. I am being conservative with my speaking voice. No talking on the phone or straining.
I think I see a bit of improvement in my speaking voice, but progress is excruciatingly slow. I am not sure if it is real or just wishful thinking.
I know that losing my voice, perhaps permanently, is not much compared to what many people are going through. I get that. I really do. On the surface, I am trying to be positive, support my friends who are struggling, and put on a happy face. But, when I am alone, I cry. I question. I despair. There is music I can't bear to listen to. Movies I can't bear to watch. Even worship brings the pain of not being able to sing the hymns that I love so dearly.
I see my throat doctor on Tuesday. He will take a light and illuminate my vocal cords.
I will find out if any healing has occurred.
Please, God, let there be healing.
1 comment:
Karen-
When they first diagnosed me with fibro and everything else, I tried to hold singing and life together. Finally one day I just said "I give up: take it all: the voice, the talent, anything to make me feel better". I couldn't listen to any of my old recordings, any classical, opera...I still have a hard time hearing it without breaking into tears. So I really understand how hard it is on you. Singing was my life, and it was gone.
But now I feel better some days. That's good enough. I paid my price, lost my voice, and I can live with that.
However, I don't think your price will be so heavy; you'll be back to singing in no time! Just a little more time and patience, you can do it. Sending you lots of love-
Kevin
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