Musings

Our air conditioner is out again. My husband reminded me that it went out last year as well. Thankfully, this time it is only in the 80s and not the 90s. Hoping for a quick and and cheap fix. Hope the guy that fixed it last year is still available. He was a peach.

I also had my first experience with what my iMac book calls the "spinning beach ball of death."  My mac hung up for the first time, forcing me to have to shut it down at the power button. I wish I had a video of me frantically combing the book for a better solution, all the while knowing what would have to be done. 

My iMac hung up after I downloaded something called "Scorch" so I could download Andrew Lloyd Weber's Pie Jesu to sing in church in the morning. I have it, but it is in the low key. I am singing with our local lyric-coloratura diva, so I had to find the high key. Thank goodness for sheetmusicdirect.com!

I bought another new watercolor book. I am trying to figure out what books I can rearrange or get rid of in order to make room for my watercolor book collection. Anybody want the entire Mitford Series? Free to good home!

Enough rambling for one night. 

Flip Side

Today I read that Susan Boyle has been hospitalized for exhaustion after having a "breakdown" of sorts.  It has become obvious that this shy, sheltered, learning disabled lady simply does not have the mental toughness that it takes to handle fame. 

If she is able to continue her career, I imagine that it will need to be as a recording artist in a sheltered studio. Maybe a limited number of singing engagements in fairly controlled environments. Maybe the stress of her past weeks would make almost anyone crack. 

Get well, Susan. I still want your CD.

Susan

By now, anyone who has been following the Susan Boyle saga has read that she LOST the Britain's Got Talent competition. 

Since when does beating out hundreds of people auditioning for a spot on this show make her a loser? Since when does the fact that an eager audience is waiting to buy her first CD make her a loser? Another read Dream Over. Dream over??? Are they serious? Her dream has just begun!

What gets me is that I have yet to read a headline reading DIVERSITY Wins. 

Which one will we remember a few weeks from now?

I don't think it will be Diversity.

Sweet 16!

 Today is my niece Amy's 16th birthday.  I look at her and it just does not seem possible. She has grown up so fast. 

Amy was one of those babies who was determined to keep her gender a surprise until the birth. Attempts to determine her sex were met with her turning her back to the "camera." When her daddy came out grinning and announced "It's a girl!" I was told that I jumped at least a foot off the ground. 

I don't know that they have ever totally been on the ground since. 

Happy Birthday, sweet 16!

Testing Again!

 Well, it looks like Picasa might be the solution for now. I can post the pic directly from there and then add text. For the curious, this is the first iris I painted in watercolor class. 

Patting myself on the back for finally figuring out a solution and going to bed!

Testing

Pictures

OK, I have hit a snag. I can't get pix to upload from iPhoto to my blog. I don't want to pay big bucks to publish a blog through iWeb at this time. 

There are supposedly some ways to get around this, but I can't quite figure them out. I guess I will have to keep working on it. 

Banging head on small Mac keyboard...

Withdrawal

OK. I admit it. I am having withdrawal.

Both of my art lessons are canceled this week. One teacher is taking 4H kids somewhere and the other is taking her mama to the doctor. Both things certainly trump art lessons.

I sure am missing them, though! As is usually the case, the more I learn, the more I want to learn.

But, for now, I will read, practice, and look forward to next week!

Apple

I am still learning something new about Mr. Mac every day. I have a Mac for Dummies book (do they have one for someone dumber than a dummy???) but it is confusing me. I seem to learn better just pointing and clicking.

Ahhh, clicking. It is going to take me a while to get out of the habit of right clicking! Most of what I need is available from a drop down menu at the top that changes with the application currently in use.

So far, I do not like Safari. After two days of struggling with that, I downloaded and installed my beloved Firefox.

One of the fun things is the ability to set a computerized "voice" to tell me what time it is, every hour on the hour. The one currently in use is "Bruce." Ol' Bruce helps me keep track so I don't spend all day on this new toy.

I adore i-Photo! It is SO easy to use. I still want my Photoshop Elements back, but this is great for the easy stuff.

I can't wait to see what all this machine will do!

Stay tuned!

Mr. Mac

Last Friday, I fried my PC. I planned to replace the CPU, but was not physically strong enough to dislodge the heat sink. So, I put things back together and tried to turn the machine on. 

All the fans whirred and the machine hummed, but it would not boot. I called my local guru and we went through all the obvious fixes with no results.

Reluctant to put much money into a 4 year old PC, I started weighing my options. I could try to replace my PC. Or, if I could figure out a way to finance it, I could get my dream machine.

A Mac.

To my utter shock, my DH agreed to finance 2/3 of my venture calling it my 50th birthday, 26th anniversary, and Christmas gifts rolled into one. So, yesterday, I trotted over to the Apple store and picked myself an iMac. It is going to take some time to get used to, but I am already hooked. 

I have heard it said that if you ever go Mac, you'll never go back. 

I believe it.

Mother's Day

I have several friends who are facing their first Mother's Day without thier moms. My heart just aches for them, because I remember how very hard that first Mother's Day was for me. Indeed, it took 3 or 4 before I was able to get through our church service and not be in tears at some point.

I still miss my mom. I am thankful to have a precious stepmom who makes my dad happy, but I miss my mom. I miss that special "mom" brand of love and encouragement. I miss her cooking. Even with the exact recipes, things just don't taste the same when I make them. I miss singing with her and hearing her lovely alto voice. I miss the knowing that one person on the planet loved me unconditionally.

I am thankful that I had her for 30 years. Some people are estranged from their mothers or never even knew them. I can't imagine that.

So, ((hugs)) to those missing their moms on Mother's Day. And if you still have your mom, give her an extra hug.

You never know when it might be the last one.

Retro TV

While flipping through our TV channels a couple of weeks ago, I discovered that we had acquired a new one. I was pretty skeptical. At least 90% of what we get on TV is of no interest to me at all. I have my short list of programs that I watch faithfully. I seldom miss House, Lie to Me, Dancing With the Stars, Ace of Cakes, or American Idol.

I was delighted when I scrolled through the lineup for an average weekday and saw my old pal Marcus Welby. Now, there was a doctor. Next up was Emergency! It is probably a reflection of my present age that I now find Kevin Tighe (Roy) more appealing than Randolph Mantooth (John). Also in the lineup of old favorites was The Incredible Hulk, Dragnet, Adam 12, and The A-Team.

I also am getting a chance to see shows that I never got to watch because my mom or dad did not like them. I am discovering Kojak, The Bold Ones, and Night Gallery.
And, not being a fan of any of the popular late night shows, I finally have something to watch before bed...Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

These shows are somewhat cheesy, corny, and definitely not politically correct.

That's what I call entertainment!

Barracuda

The other day as I pulled into the local Sonic, I saw a lineup of old cars that looked as if they belonged at a drive-in. The Vicksburg Car Cruisers were parked and ready to show off a dazzling array of antique vehicles. They were all very snazzy, and reflected the love, time, and elbow grease that made them that way.

But it was the Plymouth Barracuda that brought back a flood of memories. My grandmother was in the market for a new car and my dad had taken her from dealership to dealership showing her conservative, "old lady" cars. Mamaw wanted none of them. Instead, one day in the late sixties, she pulled up in a maroon Barracuda hatchback with a black racing stripe down the side. Living in the tiny community of Russum, Mississippi, we kids had never seen anything that cool in our entire lives.

Mamaw was a nurse in Hazlehurst, a small town about an hour south of where we lived. Before reliable and widespread emergency services, Mamaw would open the hatchback, fold the back seat down, load up a patient and haul him or her to the hospital. The Barracuda made many a trip out to the country to check on folks and down to Louisiana to visit relatives. We all loved that car.

Eventually, the Barracuda got so old and unreliable that Mamaw had to trade it in. No longer being made, the cool Barracuda gave way to an ugly, angular, green Plymouth Valiant. It was the end of an era.

But thanks to the Vicksburg Car Cruisers, I had a lovely trip down memory lane.

Watercolor

In January, I talked our local craft shop owner into teaching a watercolor class. This was a big step for me. I have not picked up a brush to do any kind of "fine art" painting since I was 13.

When I was a kid, I loved to draw and paint. My school notebooks were covered in fashion sketches and doodles. Art was second nature. When I reached 8th grade, I excitedly signed up for my first art class.

My excitement was short lived. The teacher was a sharp tongued woman (nicknamed Nicolathenose) who did not like much of anything I did. My fashion sketches for an assignment to draw a store window display failed to impress. Worst of all, I got a "F" on my painting. I admit it was not my best, but I simply could not get it done in a single class period. I was told that I had no talent. I was crushed.

I stopped drawing and painting. I concentrated on music and became a musician instead of the fashion designer I had dreamed of becoming as a kid. It all worked out. But part of me still longed to paint. I started out with some simple "one-stroke" painting. It was fun, but still limiting. And I did not feel like an "artist."

So, after 36 years, I finally decided to try fine art painting once again, in the form of watercolor. I am in a class with people from age 9 to age 65. My teacher tells me I have a nice touch for this medium and I am happy with how much I have learned in less than 3 months. I feel like I am making up for lost time. I paint constantly.

I don't know that I will ever be "art show" material, but for now, I am having a great time.

Birthday

My father-in-law will turn 80 on Saturday. For this milestone, all 5 of his children and most of his grandchildren are meeting in Nashville, TN for the weekend. I love Nashville. It is one of my favorite places to go.

Most of me is looking forward to this trip. But part of me is still tired from a combination of not feeling well with my sore throat and trying to catch up on my sleep after dealing with a broken bi-pap. I could deal with unplugging the phone and pretending to be gone. I want some time home alone to paint, watch what I want to watch on TV, and just sleep.

But this weekend is for my precious father-in-law. And I will do what makes him happy, no matter what.

As for my wishes?

Maybe next weekend.

BiPap

For the past 10 years, my constant companion at night has been a bipap machine. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, either ceasing to breathe or breathing too shallowly approximately 30 times an hour. Before I was diagnosed, I had never heard of sleep apnea. I was constantly having to pull over because I was nodding off in the car. I had constant headaches. I could not think clearly. I snored like a buzz saw. It is a wonder my poor husband ever got any sleep.

It took months and the help of fellow posters on sleepnet.com for me to get the components together to allow me to sleep properly. When I did, it was like a miracle. I could drive without getting dangerously sleepy. I could put my thoughts together. And the white noise my machine makes at night sure beat the heck out of my snoring!

About a week or so ago, my machine started acting strange. It will run smoothly for hours, but then stop abruptly. Sometimes it will start up again. Sometimes it won't. I have begun to have sleep and oxygen deprivation symptoms again.

Tomorrow I am taking my bipap back to my supplier to see if it can be fixed. No matter what it takes to get me hooked up again, I will do. I can't live like this again.

Breathing. I like breathing. Day and night.

Amy

Tonight, my niece Amy, will be inducted into the National Honor Society. As her aunt, I am justly proud of her and her accomplishment.

This kid had a rocky start to life. Diagnosed at birth with Strep B and pneumonia, she spent her first 9 days in the NICU. It was heartbreaking to see the little thing under oxygen with tubes and wires everywhere. She was in the part of the unit reserved for the sickest babies. Thank God, she was a fighter and made it through those first terrifying days.

Since then, she has battled some lingering complications of her early illness. They get her down at times, but Amy is never down for too long.

As proud as I am of what she has done, I am prouder still of who she IS. This is a young lady who can light up any room she enters. She sings and she dances. She thinks of others and loves to help people. She is wonderful with children. She is a loyal friend. She loves her God and her church. The "Amys" of the world help me see the future with much more hope than the gloom and doom reports I hear on the news.

Amy, you are a blessing.

KK :)

Not Mine

Today, a friend who is has been in a local nursing home rehabbing from a car wreck called me. She was frantic. Scheduled to go home today via nursing home van, the powers that be were trying to renege on the arrangement. Her only surviving child lives in New Orleans and her friends are in no condition to pack up all her belongings to move her home. Including me.

I did not volunteer. I offered to try to think of someone who could do this for her, but I just refused to make her crisis, MY crisis. I set a firm boundary. I figured that if the nursing home was not being paid to keep her any longer, they would find a way to get her home.

Sure enough, they did.

Money (or lack thereof) talks.

Miss Edith

Today I sang for the funeral of yet another of my "little old lady" friends. "Miss Edith" was a long time family friend. She had twinkling eyes and a lot of spunk. You always knew where you stood with Miss Edith. Even after she was largely silenced by a stroke, she could still give one of her famous LOOKS.

Back when my mama was alive, Miss Edith would call her on the phone, sometimes daily. Mama loved to talk and the phone was her lifeline on days when she was too sick, weak, or in too much pain to leave the house. However, sometimes Miss Edith would get to going and Mama just could not get off the phone with her. Miss Edith was not much for subtle hints.

So Mama and I developed a system. If I came in and she was on the phone with Miss Edith, Mama would mouth "Rescue me!" That was my signal to ring the doorbell and get Mama's little Pomeranian dog to start barking. Mama could honestly say there was someone at the door and this would get her off the hook with Miss Edith.

I am sure Mama was up there to welcome Miss Edith to Heaven.

The thought makes me smile.

Sorry

Sorry!

How many times do we hear this word? There are times when we are thankful to say it and thankful to hear it. Times when we truly did not have any intention of offending or being offended.

But sometimes "sorry" is not good enough. We get weary of a person continually excusing less than acceptable behavior with "Sorry!"

At some point, we have to stop doing the things that make us feel the need to apologize! If I am in a bad mood for whatever reason, doesn't it make more sense to take myself out of situations where I will get my feelings hurt or hurt those of others? I know what most of my triggers are. I know (or at least am learning!) what the triggers of most of my loved ones and friends are. I should be able to conduct myself in most situations where I will not have to continually apologize for my behavior.

So in this spirit, I am going to end this short rant.

With no apology!