Negative Nellies

 

Don't read the comments. Don't read the comments. I don't know how many times I have told myself not to read the comments under a news article. But, sometimes I am curious to see how people respond to certain news or issues. Invariably, this leaves me shaking my head and feeling relieved that I don't know most of these people in "real life." 

The negativity in most of these responses is overwhelming. Although Vicksburg has things that other towns would be thankful for, such as a hospital that is not hours away from them, they complain. We have locally owned restaurants that beat anything I have had while traveling, and I have eaten in places from Vicksburg to New York in one direction and Vicksburg to Utah in the other, not to mention the Pacific Northwest. Believe me, our schools, although unfairly rated, are better than many and we are blessed to have wonderful teachers who care about kids and go above and beyond the call of duty every day. 

We have many avenues for people looking to get a fresh start in life. River City Rescue Mission helps men get off drugs and Dr. Bob Ford runs another house for men to re-enter the workplace after being incarcerated. Haven House offers women who are in abusive situations a place to go and get away from the abuse and learn that they can make it on their own. Beautiful Deliverance also helps people get off drugs and get back on their feet. We also have a wonderful place called Lifting Lives where families can stay together while working their way out of homelessness. I would have loved to have had a place like this when I was counseling. It is hard to do family counseling when all the participants have had to go to different shelters. I am sure there are more than I have mentioned, but these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. 

If you really can't find anything good about this city that I have called home since 1968, you are more than free to find someplace where you might be happier. However, in my experience, people who are constantly negative and choose to look on the dark side of everything are probably not going to be happy anywhere. There is always something every one of us can do to make our city a better place. Volunteer at that school. Run for office. Try supporting your local businesses instead of going out of town, if you can find what you need here. Pick up trash on the side of the road, for Heaven's sake. Just quit with the complaining. 

Stop reading the comments and do something. 

It might just make you a happier person. 

When Will It End?

 

Over this past week, I have just been overwhelmed with the deaths and illnesses of extended family and friends from the scourge of this Delta variant. In addition, I have another friend who is in ICU with another illness who is not able to get the level of care that she really needs because the unit is full of COVID cases. 

One of the deaths was my husband's first cousin, Jim. He leaves a wife, two brothers, and a disabled sister who depended on Jim to help manage her affairs. 

The illness of a critically ill friend brings into sharp relief the situation we are currently in in Mississippi. We can get quite sick with other things that are NOT Covid. What happens when we can't get the care we need for something else? It's pretty scary. 

I am still in shock at the death of local attorney, David Sessums yesterday. Although he was a number of years older than me, he attended school with my husband and we had known him for years. He handled the closing on our house when we bought it 35 years ago. I bonded with David on Facebook this past few years. He loved to "stir the pot" with his posts and I enjoyed the "entertainment" of the comments, often posting the popcorn emoji or the "Michael Jackson eating popcorn" meme under these posts. I am really going to miss him. I find comfort in the fact that David really seemed to enjoy life and had the means to enjoy it to the fullest. 

Now, I just need a day where I don't read about the death or serious illness of anyone I care about. Please, talk to YOUR doctor about the vaccine if you are not vaccinated. Wear the mask! I know, I hate them too. I really do, but I wear them. Wash your hands. Keep your distance in public places. If you have other medical issues that make you especially susceptible, (I have known people who have died from the flu!) take extra care right now. This Delta variant is not going to last forever. My friends are precious to me and I don't want to lose another single one. 

Speed Limits

 

A few months ago, our insurance company asked us to install this "drive safe" gadget on our vehicle. If we were decent drivers, we could save money on our car insurance. It sounded good, so we agreed. 

There is an app on my phone that allows me to monitor how I am doing with this thing. It measures cornering, braking, and speed. For the first month, I really tried to watch my speed. Following the speed limits on some streets in Vicksburg can be a real challenge. 

Little did I know how obeying the speed limit would affect my interactions with other drivers. I was passed on curves on two lane roads. I was tailgated. And, on a few occasions, I was flipped off by the impatient drivers behind me. I truly feared for my safety a couple of times, just from actually obeying a posted speed limit!

Cornering was no problem for me. I don't like to take them at a high rate of speed anyway. But, braking! Now that can be an issue. I live on a road with LOTS of squirrels. I am not going to run them over if I can help it. And there are times when I think Vicksburg is one of the most likely places to have people pull out in front of me, forcing me to slam on brakes. My insurance company assures me that there is some level of forgiveness for this, but I'm not sure that there is a level of forgiveness that is required in my town. 

After a few weeks, I decided that it was more dangerous to obey the speed limit than to exceed it a little. I may not save any money, but at least I will be alive to drive! 

Facebook Memes

 

Many Facebook memes drive me crazy. They try to encapsulate complex issues in the space of a few simplistic lines. And don't even get me started on the grammar and spelling!

Several people have posted this one lately, and it makes me want to scream. No, not everything in your life is a reflection of a choice YOU have made!!! 

Try telling that to a paraplegic who was hit by a drunk driver. His condition has nothing to do with a choice he made and everything to do with being at the wrong place when someone who did make the choice to drink and drive hit him. 

And so many of the choices we make are influenced by factors that we are not even consciously aware of. Do we really want to condemn that teenage girl for gaining weight subconsciously hoping on some level that stepdad will stop raping her? What if she gets pregnant and is forced to bear his child? I would not call this tragic occurrence a "reflection of a choice SHE made." And there are a myriad of reasons that this girl may have been afraid to tell anyone what was happening to her. From threats of physical violence, to the fear of being kicked out of the house, to not being believed, "telling" is not always a viable option. 

Sure, we all make choices. Some are good. Some are bad. Some don't really matter much one way or the other. But, sometimes things in our lives are the results of circumstances beyond our control. Honor that, and put this meme to rest for good. 

Bossy Watch

 

I never planned to get an Apple watch. I always thought that they were an extravagance that I simply did not need. I had an inexpensive fitness tracker that counted my steps, told the time, and tracked my sleep. What else could I possibly need on my wrist?

Then, a few weeks ago, I took a hard fall in my kitchen. Like the lady in the TV commercial, I had fallen, and I could not get up! For about half an hour, I lay there, shaken up, but nothing was broken. However, I could not get off the floor. My phone was useless, as it was on the charger in the living room. My husband was going to be home in a couple of hours, but what if he had been off on one of his all day cemetery research trips, or worse, out of town? 

Finally, I was able to sit up and scoot myself into the living room where, after many tries, I was able to pull myself onto the couch. But, I began thinking. What if I had been outside? What if I had broken something and could not call for help? Not long after, a friend of mine fell in her driveway and was able to call for help thanks to her Apple watch. 

So, I got on the C-Spire website and looked for the most affordable Apple Watch they had. Fortunately, they had a promotion going for one of the watches. I was able to put half down and I could pay the rest monthly. This was doable. 

So, I now have something attached to me that I can call for help on. But, little did I know how bossy this thing was going to be. It tells me when to stand up, when to walk around, it even has times when it tells me to BREATHE, for Heaven's sake! It also dings me about an hour before my bedtime with the message "Your bedtime is approaching. You should consider going to bed." 

I could deactivate some of this stuff, but I guess it doesn't hurt to have something nagging at me to do the right thing. 

The peace of mind is worth it. 

Spock the Cat

I was saddened to hear of the passing of Spock the Cat yesterday. I had followed this giant, 27 pound Maine Coon with the preternaturally large ears for a couple of years on Facebook and he never failed to make me smile. 

Spock was a typical cat. What was his, was HIS. And he made certain that his brother, Fluff, knew it. 

I have been pet-less for a number of years due to allergies and health issues. Laughing at the antics of Spock and Fluff helped fill the void. 

RIP, Spock. And thanks for the laughs. 

 

Relief!

 

Update! 3 weeks from the original treatment, I have 95% relief! I got my bite guard today and expect to be at 100% soon. 

I deal with chronic nerve pain in my feet, legs, back, arms, and hands and have for years. Those I can manage with the occasional steroid epidural (I had one today) and a low dose of Flexeril at night. The pain can be severe at times, but is mostly an annoyance.

But, three weeks ago when I began to have severe trigeminal nerve pain in the right side of my face, I was almost incapacitated. I have had a LOT of surgeries and medical procedures, but this pain took the cake. I checked with my dentist to make sure it was not a regular dental problem. (When I had this on the left side, I needed a root canal at the height of the lockdowns when I could not get help for over a month!) Fortunately, a kind specialist in Jackson had a cancellation and got me in last week. 

Dr. Charles Ramsey specializes in oral appliances for sleep apnea and for people who apparently grind their teeth at night (I had no idea) and trigger point therapy. He treats TMJ, facial pain, and migraines as well as sleep apnea. He does not deal in narcotic medications. 

So far, I have experienced a 65% reduction in the pain, even without the bite guard, which is on order and I am SO thankful! I may need one more round of the trigger point therapy to get the level of relief I want, but that is OK. 

Unfortunately, neither Medicare, nor Aetna pays for these treatments. But, like most dentists, they give a discount if you can pay cash, and offer Care Credit. I would hock just about anything I have (except for the hubby) to have less pain. Fortunately, we got a refund on our income taxes that helped cover it. Dr. Ramsey's own story about having to change from a regular dental practice to his current one is inspiring in itself. If you want to check him out, go here. 

https://mspainandsleep.com

Normalizing

 Now that I have had both vaccine doses and have waited the requisite two weeks, I thought I was ready to reenter a more "normal" life. In some ways, I am. I had a lovely lunch with a vaccinated friend last week. I went to my favorite local boutique (Strut Boutique) and bought some new clothes. I imagine that running around town in the oversized T-shirts and pajama pants, that constituted most of my pandemic wardrobe, might not be my best look. I went to the grocery store late morning instead of getting up at 6:30 AM to hit the 7 AM "old people" hour. 

On the other hand, after attending a birthday gathering for my nephew this evening (participants were either vaccinated or had been quarantining in anticipation of the occasion) I realized that my tolerance for groups, even a relatively small gathering of 9, has decreased greatly over the last year. I am unused to the noise level of a half full restaurant. I found trying to converse with that many people, coupled with the noise, a bit exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I am fond of everyone who attended. But, it was overload for this admitted extrovert. 

Another thing I am noticing is that I don't feel ready to resume face to face relationships with some people that I have only "seen" on social media this past year. In the absence of physical proximity and being able to observe body language, etc, postings can come across as terribly intolerant, harsh, and just plain mean. If this is really what is in their hearts, do I really know them anymore? I'm not sure I'm ready to reconnect. 

It is going to take some time to "de-program." I find myself still avoiding aisles in the grocery store that are occupied by others. I still automatically put distance between myself and maskless people in public places. I don't want to go anywhere that is crowded, but I was already like that before COVID-19! 

Is anyone else having some difficulty getting back to normal? Or is it time for a new one? 

Covidaversary

Katrina scarred me forever. Caught coming back from vacation, I was not ready for the effects of this storm all the way to Vicksburg. We did not have the things we needed to weather that storm and it was scary. I did not have enough gas in my car. I did not have adequate food or water stored. I did not have batteries to power things that become invaluable during a prolonged power outage. 

Once things were back to normal, in Vicksburg at least, I vowed never to be caught like that again. We had gas logs installed for an alternate source of heat. I began to store jugs of water. I keep the pantry stocked with things that can be eaten cold. There are always extra loaves of bread in my freezer. I have a small power station to charge the gadgets or run a small fan. I keep at least half a tank of gas in my car.  And, yes, I always have extra toilet paper! 

Little did I know that all my preparations were going to be put to the test in March of 2020!

Like many, before I knew how this virus was transmitted, I was afraid to venture out to the grocery. I used "Instacart" for the first time. The shopper was only able to find about 1/4 of the things I wanted. She sent me pictures of the empty shelves and I was shocked. Thankfully, most of those things were "wants" and not absolute necessities. 

Once it was determined that the virus was airborne and that there were steps to potentially minimize the spread, I began going to Corner Market and CVS during "old people" hours. Carefully I got what I needed for a week so that I would not have to return until the next "senior" day. As someone considerably younger than my 90+ year old friends, I also became the self designated shopper for them. The sweet ladies at CVS would let me get two packages of toilet tissue so that I could divide it up between my friends who did not need to be out and/or who no longer drove. 

The quarantines were also not as bad for my husband and myself as they were for many. We are retired with a regular income. We are also used to spending a good bit of time at home and have hobbies and interests that keep us occupied. I discovered that I really do like to cook. I began making cards for my friends in nursing homes that I was no longer allowed to visit. Bill and I began watching old TV series that we had missed by either being too young or too busy at the time to watch them. What's my Line? and Perry Mason quickly became favorites. I can't imagine how difficult this would have been had we been younger and more active. 

The hardest part was losing friends. One of the first casualties was a dear friend and I miss her to this day. While some sneered at the death rate, to me, too many of those souls were people I knew and cared about. Others are still having issues months after having the virus and some will never be the same again. 

Hindsight is 20/20. There are things that could have been done differently. But, when dealing with a novel virus, people had to do the best they could with the information they had at the time. As knowledge improved, so did ways to deal with COVID-19, including the unprecedented miracle of a safe and effective vaccine. Contrary to some beliefs, it was not rushed. The groundwork has been ongoing for almost a decade. COVID-19 just put the theories into practice. 

There are some things that I hope will remain in place after COVID-19 is a bad memory. Extra cleanliness in public places has been lovely. Seeing people wash hands for 20 seconds while singing "Happy Birthday" under their breaths is reassuring. I use the chorus of a song by the Chainsmokers called "Closer" myself. I plan to wear a mask if I have to go to the pharmacy when I am sick and possibly contagious, and hopefully it won't be considered weird. I don't like crowds or a lot of people too close to me on a good day, so I hope some of the distancing becomes "habit" to some extent. 

Happy Covidaversary. 

A Pocketful of Nickels

 

I was introduced to this poem while I was misdiagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis for 10 years. It took 3 doctors and many years to get my current diagnosis of a form of congenital myopathy. The symptoms are extremely similar to MG, down to my droopy right eye, inability to build much strength or endurance, and most annoying of all, the fatigue. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can help any of my symptoms. I have to pace myself and manage them as best I can. 

This poem is so spot on for me and I am sure many of my friends. By the time I shower and dress, I have to rest before I can do anything else. Cooking a big lunch puts me in my chair for the afternoon. A simple trip to Jackson tires me out the next day. I really have to weigh just what activities are worth my "nickels" and whether or not I can spend them in certain ways. Pushing too hard can land me in the hospital and right now, I certainly do not want to be there! 

Congenital myopathy is another one of those "invisible diseases." Other than my weight, I look healthy. So many of us with illnesses that make us so tired look great to people who don't know what we deal with. 

I'm not really complaining here. While I miss having energy and being able to do more for myself and other people, I am thankful for what I still have. But, I would sure love to have a few more nickels! 

On a good morning, we awake with a dollars worth of invisible nickels in our pocket, or perhaps we find them after our first dose of Mestinon.

We must decide how to spend this precious supply.

Shall we shower, dress, make the bed, have breakfast, go to a job,

and recklessly spend them all at once?
Perhaps, we should just use twenty-five cents,
and dress without the shower or shave, leave the bed for later,
and spend five to fifteen cents for breakfast.
We alone may judge from our recent experience.

 Having decided, we act, and our precious deposits is made into an
invisible slot, filled with invisible batteries.
These batteries kick in slowly and we drain their reserve.
When it is close to gone, we force ourselves to rest.
As the day progresses, we decided to do a small chore.
The shave, shower, shampoo? Five more nickels perhaps?
The bed? One nickel perhaps. Cleaning house? Going to work?

 How many nickels will we have to spend today?
For many of us, we can barely afford one nickel at a time, today.
If we have the luxury of time for a rest period or a nap,
We might awaken with a sudden new supply of nickels in our pocket.
Probably our next dose of Mestinon will provide us with a
fresh supply. For others, we may find we’ve chosen unwisely
and squandered our day’s wealth,
Or borrowed from them tomorrow, to do what had to be done,
or simply what we wanted to do to improve our quality of life.

The debt must be repaid, and time in bed will be the price.
We can gamble them all away, or spend them gratefully.
When we awake, morning after morning, with pockets full of nickels,
Such an abundance that we no longer have to count them
We have achieved Myasthenia Gravis remission
May you all have “pocket full of nickels”

Beverly Nason 

Random December Musings

 

Despite putting up my Christmas tree, it still does not "feel" like Christmas to me yet. I won't be singing for any Christmas programs this year, although I recorded a song for Hawkins UMC a couple of months back to be used during the season if it was needed. It looks like this Sunday will be that time as most United Methodist churches are suspending in-person worship due to rapidly increasing COVID-19 numbers. 

My mama will be gone 30 years this Christmas night. Sometimes it seems like it has not been nearly as long. Sometimes it seems longer. I still miss her, but I think she would be proud of who I have become since then. 

If I see you in the grocery store or CVS and don't recognize you, please do not be offended! I did not realize how much I identify people by their smiles until masks were being almost universally worn. Two people had to tell me who they were in CVS last week! And I have known them both for years! Am I the only one who has this problem? Anyway, if I don't recognize you, tell me who you are so I can say hello and Merry Christmas. 

If someone had told me that I would not go out of the house wearing anything but a little eyebrow gel this time last year, I wouldn't have believed them.I have saved quite a bit on makeup this year for sure. I don't wear tons at any time, but why put makeup on when wearing a mask everywhere? Half of my wrinkles are covered up. I'll take it.

I think I need to leave some of my Facebook groups. Seriously, I am getting to where I can't always remember every rule for every group! My poor fuzzy brain just can't keep up any more. 

When I am asked what I want for Christmas, the first thing that comes to mind is the vaccine for COVID-19! Seriously! The sooner we can get inoculated against this beast, the sooner life will return to some semblance of normal. Other than the health and happiness of my family and friends, I really don't want or need much. 

And for those of you who are missing a loved one this Christmas, here is a big (virtual) hug for you! (((Hugs))) 

I hope everyone can find some moments of peace and joy despite the craziness that has been 2020. 

Stay safe, everyone. 

Mixing Bowls

 

You know that you are an adult when you get excited over a new set of mixing bowls. 

While in Jackson getting my allergy shots last Monday, I was planning to go get some lunch. But, when I saw a Bed, Bath, and Beyond with 3 cars in the parking lot, I just could not resist. I masked up, sanitized my hands, and went in a "non-essential" store for only the second time since March. The other time was to Michael's to get flowers for the graves of my in-laws and a couple of dear friends. 

I went in to search for a new doormat and a larger insulated tumbler. Indeed, I did come out with those. But, I was drawn to this gorgeous set of mixing bowls. I have mixing bowls that I received as a wedding gift almost 37 years ago. They are the old open style with almost no rims. The kind where food goes flying if you turn your mixer up too high. And they would qualify for the "bent and dent" store easily. 

Since the pandemic began, I have been doing a LOT more cooking. My high-risk hubby and my high-risk self have not eaten in a restaurant since March. We do get some take out, but mostly it has been Karen in the kitchen. I don't see an end in sight to that situation in the foreseeable future. So...

I bit for the new mixing bowls. These are deep, have a rim that makes them much easier to hold on to, and LIDS! What's not to love? I succumbed to their shiny siren song.  I have no regrets. 

I think my brownie recipe wants to meet my new mixing bowls. It's time to introduce them to each other. To paraphrase Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina "Chocolate is always a good idea."

Random Musings from 61

I turned 61 on Monday. It blew my mind how many people on Facebook (most of whom I have actually met in person) wished me a happy birthday. Last count was like 200??? Wow. 

I have stopped watching the national news, listening to any of the talking heads, and reading most of the political pages I used to peruse. While I have places to discuss politics on social media, I have declared my person page a politics-free zone. I just don't have the energy for more than cat cartoons and other things that might bring people a laugh right now. I will use this space to beg people to send anything political to Messenger or just email it to me. 

Cancer sucks. I've said that before, but it still holds true. And it definitely affects more than just the patient. It is a family disease. It takes energy and focus for a family to support a cancer warrior. I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for families who do not have resources. 

I am following a doctor https://zdoggmd.com on both Facebook and his website. This guy has a centered and balanced approach to the COVID-19 pandemic that is reassuring and refreshing. Contrary to people who sneer at those of us who are having to use extra care, I am not cowering in fear and constantly in a panic. I am just making decisions based on calculated risk. I go to the grocery and pharmacy. I have friends over for "social distance picnics" in my yard. I visit an older friend on her screened in back porch. I get take-out and curbside food to support my local restaurants. The thing I miss most is teaching art to my special needs kids at Micah's Mission School, but, according to common sense and my doctors (all 7 of them) this is NOT an acceptable risk at this time. 

I have absolutely loved really getting into paper crafting and card making during all of this. The right card, received at the right time, can make a person's day. I am on my second box of 100 envelopes since April and I am working through those at a steady clip. I am definitely doing my part to support the USPS. 

The older I get, the thing I crave most in this life is peace. I have unfollowed (not unfriended or blocked!) some folks on social media for a while. I have also unfollowed some groups that seem to draw a crowd of "negative nellies." It has helped my "peace of mind" quite a bit. 

Music helps almost everything. For my birthday gift to myself, I have ordered some wireless bluetooth headphones so that I can do little chores and listen to music after my husband goes to bed. He hits the hay about 3 hours before I do and our house is small. I think these will be a great investment. 

Wishing everyone some peace and happiness this week. 

 

Lights of Hope

 

Lights of Hope 2020

I daresay that almost everyone reading this post has lost someone to cancer. It sucks. There is just no other way to say it. 

Cancer does not affect just the patient. It is a "whole family" disease. Caregiving is also exhausting as we watch our loved ones suffer. 

Every year, there is an event called "Lights of Hope." This is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network. They sell bags in memory or in honor of loved ones affected by cancer. On a normal year, these luminary bags are taken to Washington DC and displayed at night around the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. Because of COVID-19, this was not advisable, so our local bags were displayed on the steps of City Hall. 

ACSCAN is the arm of the American Cancer Society that lobbies for more funds for cancer research, for cancer prevention, and access to healthcare among other things. To read more about what they do, go here: https://www.fightcancer.org. 

Last year, I participated in a group effort to paint the bags to get them ready to go to Washington. It was not feasible to do that this year. I have a loved one currently fighting cancer and I needed something to do to help keep my mind occupied when I was not preoccupied with this person (who prefers not to be mentioned on any kind of social media or blog!) and my hands busy. So, I volunteered to paint them this year. I started out with the first 71, painting and stenciling flowers, butterflies. trees, and baseball things for a teen boy and a young man who are fans of the sport. After I finished those, Miss Pearl had just a few more. I volunteered again. That turned out to be about 46. Got those done. The week they were due, Miss Pearl ended up in the hospital. There were just a few more. Yep, I volunteered! I finished the last one around midnight on the Friday night before they were due to be displayed that Saturday! 148 in all. 

As I painted, I said a prayer for each person who is still fighting cancer. I pray also for a day when there will be no more of this horrible disease on the face of this Earth. 

More Random Musings

I have to admit that this pandemic has given me lots of time to think. Maybe too much!

I can cook. Really cook. I had almost forgotten how. I will just be glad when I can have friends over to eat with me, instead of just taking food to them at home. 

Cancer sucks. I hate the word sucks, but there is just no other word that fits as well when you have yet another loved one diagnosed with cancer. 

I can actually see the top of my microwave for the first time in years. I finally had the time and inclination to clean it off. I tend to look at clutter, get overwhelmed, and just walk away. Right now, I am actually able to tackle a little bit at a time. I hope this lasts for awhile!

Naps are good. I used to resist naps when I was a kid. Maybe I was saving them all for now.

Words spoken in hate and anger still sting, months and even years later.

I'm not opening any political videos on Messenger unless they come from a very small group of people who I know keep tabs on their accounts to minimize the chances of getting hacked. If you are not on Facebook on a very regular basis, I am NOT going to open your videos. Don't waste your time. 

For Heaven's sake! FACT CHECK stuff before you post! Don't just blindly take someone else's word for things. It is absolutely amazing what can be faked these days. 

Instagram is a fun way to keep up with nieces and nephews. Less drama than Facebook or Twitter. 

My volunteer button has not totally been deactivated during the pandemic. My hand still goes up when presented with a project that I can do at home. Staying busy helps. 

I have way too many art supplies. There, I said it. What am I going to do about it? Get rid of some? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Laughter really IS the best medicine. 

Hang in there, everyone. This "Cornteen" can't last forever. 

 

Miss Emma

Miss Emma passed away yesterday. She was 90. 

I met Emma Kuelegan through my husband, who served with her in the Vicksburg genealogical society. We took to each other right away. She was the daughter of an Armenian immigrant who came to the USA to study physics and engineering. Garbis Keulegan planned to return to Armenia, but remained in the States after his family was murdered in the 1915 Armenian Massacre. Miss Emma was immensely proud of her father and his accomplishments, which were numerous. 

https://www.nae.edu/29090/Dr-Garbis-H-Keulegan

Miss Emma was engaged to be married to a gentleman who was killed in Korea. She never married and had no children of her own. However, she had numerous children, in the form of all the students she taught over many years of teaching. 

Miss Emma told me stories about Armenia, growing up during WWII, and being reared as a "sister" with a cousin who later owned an apple farm. She used to say that she had eaten apples every way that they could possibly be prepared! 

Miss Emma loved to tell me stories about her parents. An only child, she never stopped missing them terribly and I know she was happy to be reunited with them in Heaven. 

Rest in perfect peace Miss Emma. You will be missed. 

Hitting the Wall

Last night, I hit the wall, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I try not to let myself get to this point very often, but sometimes it just kind of sneaks up on me. 

Between the virus, losing friends to it, the heat, the lack of being able to hug and touch people, and concern for a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer, it has been a heck of a year! 

None of my usual stress busters was working last night. Prayer, solitaire, music, card making, mindless TV, nothing was working last night. Some times things are just like that. I realized that it was time to rearrange my schedule (such as it is!) to accommodate the way I am feeling now. There are things that don't HAVE to be done RIGHT NOW and it is OK just to leave them for another day. 

Once I did that, I went to bed and slept for 8 hours for the first time since I can't remember when. And, today is better.  I bought some beautiful tomatoes and peaches at The Tomato Place, came home and made myself a BLT. This afternoon, I am going to take a nap. This is a stressful time for everyone. 

Take care of yourselves. 

Opportunities?

If one of my therapists had ever said this to me back in the day, I might have been tempted to throw things at her! But, at this particular time, it spoke to me.

COVID-19 and the need for many of us to remain extra careful is getting old. Believe me, I KNOW! I miss my church, which is shut down for the foreseeable future due to the ages and health concerns of our members. I miss going out to eat with friends. I miss hugging people! 

But, I am trying to look for opportunities during this "down" time. I have rediscovered a love of cooking for people as I "tote" food to some of my elderly friends. When I say elderly, I am talking about people 85+, not 60 year olds like myself! Of course, by some standards I am "elderly." Hmmph! I really had forgotten how much I liked my own cooking. 

I used to love to make cards but had become too busy and distracted these past few years to take the time to make individualized cards for folks. The shutdowns and need for extra caution on my part have left me with time to organize all my pretty papers and make cards for my nursing home friends and others who just need an encouraging word. 

And now would be a great time to learn something new! YouTube has videos on how to do just about anything. I learned some new techniques in a video that I can't wait to try on my Gelli Plate. I have also discovered some new music and artists through YouTube as well. I have learned to Zoom. And I am currently working on a Zoom art lesson for my Micah's Mission students using things they should have at home. 

If your focus is on all the things you CAN'T do right now, it just makes things even harder. Take time to listen to your body, pay attention to your spirit, dream a little, and get creative. 

Although this seems to have lasted forever already, I am confident that a vaccine or effective treatment will be found. 

Just hold on and stay safe. 

I Care

I care. I care deeply. Daily, I am horrified at what I see on the news. I limit myself to an hour a day. A half hour of local and a half hour of national news is all I can stand. I do read thoughtful and carefully researched articles, but I can only stand so much of actually watching the news. 

The same goes for discussing hot topics on social media. I used to get into the fray, but I am just too exhausted to do it now. I have yet to see a case where arguing on social media changes anyone's mind. 

Yes, I care. I am horrified at what has happened to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. I am horrified by all the incidents of senseless violence that have come before. I am horrified by the cavalier attitudes towards these incidents. I am horrified to the point of tears and I do not cry easily.

Even though I no longer get into the fray publicly on social media, I try to do things that will hopefully help situations in the long run. I am active in my party's local executive committee. I support candidates with whom I share values and ideals in hopes of making my city, state, and country a better place. I call and write my representatives to let them know how I feel about pending legislation. And, I vote. I will wear my mask and take my Clorox wipes to the polls with me in November. I will stand in line (probably sitting on my walker!) as long as it takes.

Post on social media if that is your thing. I have read a meme that says something to the effect that people post not in hopes of changing minds, but to keep from being changed themselves.

Whatever works for you.

Just keep caring.

Phyllis George

I read this evening where Phyllis George has passed away at the age of 70. She was Miss America 1971 and that night is one that I will never forget. 

Before the pageant, my brother had gone to the refrigerator to get a drink for my mama. Unable to wrest it from the plastic ring that held the 6 pack together, he got some scissors. Sparing my readers the details, he injured his eye and lost all vision in it at the age of 9. 

Of course, chaos ensued. My brother was rushed to the emergency room and neighbors came to pick up my sister and me. In an attempt to keep us from worrying (I was 10 and Tammy was 8) our friends tuned into the pageant and we all began to watch. Phyllis George was a favorite from the beginning. Her charm and personality overcame a very weak piano rendition of "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head" to help her become Miss America that year. As she took her triumphant walk, her crown fell off of her head. She bent down, picked it up, and just kept going. 

And so did my brother.