OCD

**************Angsty Post Alert************** :P

OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It is an anxiety disorder that, for me, primarily manifests in intrusive thoughts more than compulsive behaviors, although I do struggle with some of those too. I was diagnosed with OCD in 1993, but I know that I have had it all my life. Anti-depressants can help OCD symptoms, but nothing totally eradicates them. Therapy also helps, but again, does not make OCD "go away."

The intrusive thought component of OCD can make a chance remark assume larger than life proportions. Like a snowball, it grows larger and larger until it takes up much more space in my mind than it deserves. I try to use my skills at disputing irrational thoughts and sometimes it works. But, other times, OCD is stronger than I am and it wins for a while. Compulsive behaviors, like overeating, can calm the voices for a while, but those create their own problems and are no solution.

I love Fall. Fall brings my birthday, my anniversary, and my second favorite (to Easter) holiday, Thanksgiving. But, for some reason, it seems to intensify my OCD as well. Fighting it just exhausts me, both physically and mentally. To coin a phrase, it drives me nuts! :P

Karen vs. OCD.

I plan to win.