Validation

*****Warning***** This might be construed by some as whining, so you might want to skip it! :P I am more just thinking out loud than anything.


When I was in counseling school one of the things I learned about was the validation of feelings. This involved truly listening to the client and honoring their feelings without judging, whether I agreed with these feelings or not. To judge, try to fix, or belittle these feelings resulted in something called "secondary wounding." Often, this hurts worse than the initial event.

Another thing I learned is that most responses to events are not created solely by that particular event. Responses are filtered through a maze of past experiences, both good and bad.

I am recognizing that my reaction to my arthritis diagnosis has its' roots in several things. One is a fear that this could be the start of another massive body breakdown like I experienced at 40 with the onset of my MG, food allergies, and asthma. Another is flashbacks to seeing the gnarled hands of my nursing home patients that left many of them with sharp minds, but the inability to do the simplest tasks (wiping their butts, for example) for themselves. Another is losing the ability to paint that I have come to cherish so much. I am not Van Gogh or Monet, but this is something that has allowed me to give back something to my community and helped me build back up the self-esteem that has been lost with my career and ability to sing for more than very short bits of time.

So, now I am doing with myself what I used to do with my clients. I have acknowledged my fears and honored them as MY fears. Now I am in a position to dispute what is not really rational.

Osteoarthritis, unlike rheumatoid is not autoimmune. Although I have a better than average chance of developing another autoimmune disease (my asthma, MG, and allergies are all autoimmune) this is no harbinger of what might come.

With better treatments, there should be fewer people in the shape that my precious nursing home patients are in now. They did not have access to many of the things that can make a big difference now.

And hopefully, on the art front, no matter what happens, I will find some way to express myself.