Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Human Again

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors.


For me, these are four of the most beautiful words in the English language. And I am thankful that they had been invented when I first needed them back in 1994. I was in a black hole that I could not dig myself out of, even with good therapy and lots of prayer. It became obvious to my counselor that another component was needed. Hence, SSRIs became part of my daily routine.


As I got used to the dosage, I was amazed. Grass was greener. The sky was bluer. Or so it seemed. The fog that had been hovering over me for what I realized was almost my entire life was lifted. I could think clearly. My obsessive compulsive disorder became manageable. I could corral my thoughts before they spiraled out of control.


However, every now and then, I would need to tweak my dosage or try a new SSRI to continue to get these benefits. This fall, I noticed myself sliding back into the haze and decided to talk to my neurologist about an update. We decided to try the newest antidepressant, Cymbalta. This drug has the added benefit of helping control nerve pain.


At first, I was in heaven. My chronic achiness got better and my appetite declined. But, as a few weeks went by, I noticed that the depression had returned in full force and the obsessive thoughts were coming back as well. I dithered for a couple of weeks, trying to decide what to do. I was loving a break from the physical discomfort. But, ultimately, I could not manage the mental discomfort.


So, I talked to the doc again. She switched me to a pure SSRI called Lexapro. After less than a week, I can tell a marked difference. I feel like "ME" again.


Better living through chemistry?


You bet!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Karen:

I am so glad that you are feeling more like your "old self". It stinks that you need to trade off between less pain and more joy, but I have never known anyone who handled chronic illness with more grace than you do. Be well my friend!

XoXo
Mel

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