Thursday, November 02, 2017

Poker Face

Alas, I don't have one. I can't keep my emotions from showing on my face, no matter what I try. If I am happy, everyone knows it. If I am sad, people know that too. Unfortunately, when I am shocked, surprised, and/or sometimes disgusted, that shows too. 

I fear that this lack of inability to hide my feelings more effectively has cost me some friends over the years. I hate this. Usually, the shock, surprise, or whatever go away fairly quickly and I regain my equilibrium. But, sometimes the "damage" seems to be done. I used to be much better at this when I was counseling, but I seem to have lost my touch. I don't know if some of my illnesses or meds are partly to blame, or if some of it is just getting older. I just know that not showing my feelings is not working these days.

Ironically, I spent years myself in counseling learning how NOT to hide all my feelings. 

Maybe it worked too well. 




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