Sunday, September 03, 2006

Torn

Today I went to two church services. I attended early service at a lovely Episcopal church a few miles from my home. Then, I went to 11:00 service at my "official" church, which is the "downtown" Methodist church.

Part of me feels like I need to choose between them. That I can't continue to keep a foot in each camp. But I have been unable to choose.

The Methodist church is the church of my ancestors. We have been Methodist for many generations and the Methodist church in Kentwood, Louisiana where my mother's family comes from, was built largely by my kin. I love the way that the methodist church conference helps keep us connected to each other. I love the music that we make at my home church. I love my choir director. As a musician, I need that musical component to worship.

Or so I thought. For the past year, I have been attending early service at the Episcopal church. This service has no music, but is satisfying because of the weekly Eucharist, thought provoking sermons from their first female priest, and the fact that the congregation is small and welcoming. I can use my non-musical talents at this church. Talents that are overshadowed at my "big" church.

So why can't I choose? I think that I would eventually miss the music at my own church if I were to leave for good. There are people there that I care for. I have been there for 22 years. Right now, the person who is serving as clergy is not filling my needs for a preacher OR a pastor. But, I know that he will not be there forever.

I love this Episcopal church, but I don't know if there would be enough there for me without this dear priest. And, I know that she will not be there forever. She is content to let me come to early church, book study, and hang around when I can. She is fulfilling both the pastor and preacher needs I have at this time.

It may be possible to be an associate member of both congregations. I may just continue as I have been.

I just can't choose.


4 comments:

SuziQoregon said...

If you're getting something you need from both, then why not continue to participate in both in some fashion? Sounds to me like your soul is needing something from both at this point.

Anonymous said...

testing to see if I can post as SuziQ

Karen :) said...

Judy, there is just no music at this particular service. Partially because organists are scarce here and they can barely get one for 11:00!

Bookfool said...

Hi Karen!!

It's cool to find someone else blogging in Vburg!!

It's rough choosing a church in Vicksburg. I've been going to the same one for 20 years, like you, but I keep thinking, "Surely there's something better." We've actually thought, "Maybe the downtown Methodist church". Funny.

Have you got your water back on? We're in Hilldale water district, so it just meant no school or work for us. :)

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