*****Warning***** Talking to myself again. Some may see this as whining. You might want to skip it. :P
Some days I feel like my "safe places" are becoming smaller and smaller. This applies to both physical and mental places. The places I am feel safe going, especially at night, are getting fewer and fewer. I used to feel pretty safe going almost anywhere, but not anymore. I am especially missing that sense of safety now that it is getting hot and nighttime would be my preferred time to get out.
My loss of mental and emotional safe places is even more keenly felt. I am hesitant to ask for support or prayer because others have "REAL troubles." Any expression of real feeling constitutes "drama" to some. I am afraid to express my feelings to any but the smallest handful of people now. I spent years in therapy being encouraged by my therapists to acknowledge the feelings I spent my whole life stuffing down until I was close to ending my life to end the pain.
I don't want to become a whiner. I don't want to dwell on the negative. I try to be the supporter, rather than the one who needs supporting. But, sometimes I am the one who needs support and understanding.
I pray to find safe places and safe people.
2 comments:
I hope you will always consider me a safe friend. Your feelings ARE valid. Feelings are feelings, no one should try to fix them. Have them! If they become harmful, then seek help to understand and change them. You're feelings are very normal considering your life experiences - hell, they're normal without your experiences. Just be! rants, sadness, whines are all part of being human. You have to wonder the worth of a friend who doesn't valid your feelings.
I hope you will always consider me a safe friend.
Thanks, Scoot! That means a lot today!
Post a Comment