Random December Musings

 

Despite putting up my Christmas tree, it still does not "feel" like Christmas to me yet. I won't be singing for any Christmas programs this year, although I recorded a song for Hawkins UMC a couple of months back to be used during the season if it was needed. It looks like this Sunday will be that time as most United Methodist churches are suspending in-person worship due to rapidly increasing COVID-19 numbers. 

My mama will be gone 30 years this Christmas night. Sometimes it seems like it has not been nearly as long. Sometimes it seems longer. I still miss her, but I think she would be proud of who I have become since then. 

If I see you in the grocery store or CVS and don't recognize you, please do not be offended! I did not realize how much I identify people by their smiles until masks were being almost universally worn. Two people had to tell me who they were in CVS last week! And I have known them both for years! Am I the only one who has this problem? Anyway, if I don't recognize you, tell me who you are so I can say hello and Merry Christmas. 

If someone had told me that I would not go out of the house wearing anything but a little eyebrow gel this time last year, I wouldn't have believed them.I have saved quite a bit on makeup this year for sure. I don't wear tons at any time, but why put makeup on when wearing a mask everywhere? Half of my wrinkles are covered up. I'll take it.

I think I need to leave some of my Facebook groups. Seriously, I am getting to where I can't always remember every rule for every group! My poor fuzzy brain just can't keep up any more. 

When I am asked what I want for Christmas, the first thing that comes to mind is the vaccine for COVID-19! Seriously! The sooner we can get inoculated against this beast, the sooner life will return to some semblance of normal. Other than the health and happiness of my family and friends, I really don't want or need much. 

And for those of you who are missing a loved one this Christmas, here is a big (virtual) hug for you! (((Hugs))) 

I hope everyone can find some moments of peace and joy despite the craziness that has been 2020. 

Stay safe, everyone. 

Mixing Bowls

 

You know that you are an adult when you get excited over a new set of mixing bowls. 

While in Jackson getting my allergy shots last Monday, I was planning to go get some lunch. But, when I saw a Bed, Bath, and Beyond with 3 cars in the parking lot, I just could not resist. I masked up, sanitized my hands, and went in a "non-essential" store for only the second time since March. The other time was to Michael's to get flowers for the graves of my in-laws and a couple of dear friends. 

I went in to search for a new doormat and a larger insulated tumbler. Indeed, I did come out with those. But, I was drawn to this gorgeous set of mixing bowls. I have mixing bowls that I received as a wedding gift almost 37 years ago. They are the old open style with almost no rims. The kind where food goes flying if you turn your mixer up too high. And they would qualify for the "bent and dent" store easily. 

Since the pandemic began, I have been doing a LOT more cooking. My high-risk hubby and my high-risk self have not eaten in a restaurant since March. We do get some take out, but mostly it has been Karen in the kitchen. I don't see an end in sight to that situation in the foreseeable future. So...

I bit for the new mixing bowls. These are deep, have a rim that makes them much easier to hold on to, and LIDS! What's not to love? I succumbed to their shiny siren song.  I have no regrets. 

I think my brownie recipe wants to meet my new mixing bowls. It's time to introduce them to each other. To paraphrase Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina "Chocolate is always a good idea."

Random Musings from 61

I turned 61 on Monday. It blew my mind how many people on Facebook (most of whom I have actually met in person) wished me a happy birthday. Last count was like 200??? Wow. 

I have stopped watching the national news, listening to any of the talking heads, and reading most of the political pages I used to peruse. While I have places to discuss politics on social media, I have declared my person page a politics-free zone. I just don't have the energy for more than cat cartoons and other things that might bring people a laugh right now. I will use this space to beg people to send anything political to Messenger or just email it to me. 

Cancer sucks. I've said that before, but it still holds true. And it definitely affects more than just the patient. It is a family disease. It takes energy and focus for a family to support a cancer warrior. I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for families who do not have resources. 

I am following a doctor https://zdoggmd.com on both Facebook and his website. This guy has a centered and balanced approach to the COVID-19 pandemic that is reassuring and refreshing. Contrary to people who sneer at those of us who are having to use extra care, I am not cowering in fear and constantly in a panic. I am just making decisions based on calculated risk. I go to the grocery and pharmacy. I have friends over for "social distance picnics" in my yard. I visit an older friend on her screened in back porch. I get take-out and curbside food to support my local restaurants. The thing I miss most is teaching art to my special needs kids at Micah's Mission School, but, according to common sense and my doctors (all 7 of them) this is NOT an acceptable risk at this time. 

I have absolutely loved really getting into paper crafting and card making during all of this. The right card, received at the right time, can make a person's day. I am on my second box of 100 envelopes since April and I am working through those at a steady clip. I am definitely doing my part to support the USPS. 

The older I get, the thing I crave most in this life is peace. I have unfollowed (not unfriended or blocked!) some folks on social media for a while. I have also unfollowed some groups that seem to draw a crowd of "negative nellies." It has helped my "peace of mind" quite a bit. 

Music helps almost everything. For my birthday gift to myself, I have ordered some wireless bluetooth headphones so that I can do little chores and listen to music after my husband goes to bed. He hits the hay about 3 hours before I do and our house is small. I think these will be a great investment. 

Wishing everyone some peace and happiness this week. 

 

Lights of Hope

 

Lights of Hope 2020

I daresay that almost everyone reading this post has lost someone to cancer. It sucks. There is just no other way to say it. 

Cancer does not affect just the patient. It is a "whole family" disease. Caregiving is also exhausting as we watch our loved ones suffer. 

Every year, there is an event called "Lights of Hope." This is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network. They sell bags in memory or in honor of loved ones affected by cancer. On a normal year, these luminary bags are taken to Washington DC and displayed at night around the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. Because of COVID-19, this was not advisable, so our local bags were displayed on the steps of City Hall. 

ACSCAN is the arm of the American Cancer Society that lobbies for more funds for cancer research, for cancer prevention, and access to healthcare among other things. To read more about what they do, go here: https://www.fightcancer.org. 

Last year, I participated in a group effort to paint the bags to get them ready to go to Washington. It was not feasible to do that this year. I have a loved one currently fighting cancer and I needed something to do to help keep my mind occupied when I was not preoccupied with this person (who prefers not to be mentioned on any kind of social media or blog!) and my hands busy. So, I volunteered to paint them this year. I started out with the first 71, painting and stenciling flowers, butterflies. trees, and baseball things for a teen boy and a young man who are fans of the sport. After I finished those, Miss Pearl had just a few more. I volunteered again. That turned out to be about 46. Got those done. The week they were due, Miss Pearl ended up in the hospital. There were just a few more. Yep, I volunteered! I finished the last one around midnight on the Friday night before they were due to be displayed that Saturday! 148 in all. 

As I painted, I said a prayer for each person who is still fighting cancer. I pray also for a day when there will be no more of this horrible disease on the face of this Earth. 

More Random Musings

I have to admit that this pandemic has given me lots of time to think. Maybe too much!

I can cook. Really cook. I had almost forgotten how. I will just be glad when I can have friends over to eat with me, instead of just taking food to them at home. 

Cancer sucks. I hate the word sucks, but there is just no other word that fits as well when you have yet another loved one diagnosed with cancer. 

I can actually see the top of my microwave for the first time in years. I finally had the time and inclination to clean it off. I tend to look at clutter, get overwhelmed, and just walk away. Right now, I am actually able to tackle a little bit at a time. I hope this lasts for awhile!

Naps are good. I used to resist naps when I was a kid. Maybe I was saving them all for now.

Words spoken in hate and anger still sting, months and even years later.

I'm not opening any political videos on Messenger unless they come from a very small group of people who I know keep tabs on their accounts to minimize the chances of getting hacked. If you are not on Facebook on a very regular basis, I am NOT going to open your videos. Don't waste your time. 

For Heaven's sake! FACT CHECK stuff before you post! Don't just blindly take someone else's word for things. It is absolutely amazing what can be faked these days. 

Instagram is a fun way to keep up with nieces and nephews. Less drama than Facebook or Twitter. 

My volunteer button has not totally been deactivated during the pandemic. My hand still goes up when presented with a project that I can do at home. Staying busy helps. 

I have way too many art supplies. There, I said it. What am I going to do about it? Get rid of some? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Laughter really IS the best medicine. 

Hang in there, everyone. This "Cornteen" can't last forever. 

 

Miss Emma

Miss Emma passed away yesterday. She was 90. 

I met Emma Kuelegan through my husband, who served with her in the Vicksburg genealogical society. We took to each other right away. She was the daughter of an Armenian immigrant who came to the USA to study physics and engineering. Garbis Keulegan planned to return to Armenia, but remained in the States after his family was murdered in the 1915 Armenian Massacre. Miss Emma was immensely proud of her father and his accomplishments, which were numerous. 

https://www.nae.edu/29090/Dr-Garbis-H-Keulegan

Miss Emma was engaged to be married to a gentleman who was killed in Korea. She never married and had no children of her own. However, she had numerous children, in the form of all the students she taught over many years of teaching. 

Miss Emma told me stories about Armenia, growing up during WWII, and being reared as a "sister" with a cousin who later owned an apple farm. She used to say that she had eaten apples every way that they could possibly be prepared! 

Miss Emma loved to tell me stories about her parents. An only child, she never stopped missing them terribly and I know she was happy to be reunited with them in Heaven. 

Rest in perfect peace Miss Emma. You will be missed. 

Hitting the Wall

Last night, I hit the wall, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I try not to let myself get to this point very often, but sometimes it just kind of sneaks up on me. 

Between the virus, losing friends to it, the heat, the lack of being able to hug and touch people, and concern for a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer, it has been a heck of a year! 

None of my usual stress busters was working last night. Prayer, solitaire, music, card making, mindless TV, nothing was working last night. Some times things are just like that. I realized that it was time to rearrange my schedule (such as it is!) to accommodate the way I am feeling now. There are things that don't HAVE to be done RIGHT NOW and it is OK just to leave them for another day. 

Once I did that, I went to bed and slept for 8 hours for the first time since I can't remember when. And, today is better.  I bought some beautiful tomatoes and peaches at The Tomato Place, came home and made myself a BLT. This afternoon, I am going to take a nap. This is a stressful time for everyone. 

Take care of yourselves. 

Opportunities?

If one of my therapists had ever said this to me back in the day, I might have been tempted to throw things at her! But, at this particular time, it spoke to me.

COVID-19 and the need for many of us to remain extra careful is getting old. Believe me, I KNOW! I miss my church, which is shut down for the foreseeable future due to the ages and health concerns of our members. I miss going out to eat with friends. I miss hugging people! 

But, I am trying to look for opportunities during this "down" time. I have rediscovered a love of cooking for people as I "tote" food to some of my elderly friends. When I say elderly, I am talking about people 85+, not 60 year olds like myself! Of course, by some standards I am "elderly." Hmmph! I really had forgotten how much I liked my own cooking. 

I used to love to make cards but had become too busy and distracted these past few years to take the time to make individualized cards for folks. The shutdowns and need for extra caution on my part have left me with time to organize all my pretty papers and make cards for my nursing home friends and others who just need an encouraging word. 

And now would be a great time to learn something new! YouTube has videos on how to do just about anything. I learned some new techniques in a video that I can't wait to try on my Gelli Plate. I have also discovered some new music and artists through YouTube as well. I have learned to Zoom. And I am currently working on a Zoom art lesson for my Micah's Mission students using things they should have at home. 

If your focus is on all the things you CAN'T do right now, it just makes things even harder. Take time to listen to your body, pay attention to your spirit, dream a little, and get creative. 

Although this seems to have lasted forever already, I am confident that a vaccine or effective treatment will be found. 

Just hold on and stay safe. 

I Care

I care. I care deeply. Daily, I am horrified at what I see on the news. I limit myself to an hour a day. A half hour of local and a half hour of national news is all I can stand. I do read thoughtful and carefully researched articles, but I can only stand so much of actually watching the news. 

The same goes for discussing hot topics on social media. I used to get into the fray, but I am just too exhausted to do it now. I have yet to see a case where arguing on social media changes anyone's mind. 

Yes, I care. I am horrified at what has happened to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. I am horrified by all the incidents of senseless violence that have come before. I am horrified by the cavalier attitudes towards these incidents. I am horrified to the point of tears and I do not cry easily.

Even though I no longer get into the fray publicly on social media, I try to do things that will hopefully help situations in the long run. I am active in my party's local executive committee. I support candidates with whom I share values and ideals in hopes of making my city, state, and country a better place. I call and write my representatives to let them know how I feel about pending legislation. And, I vote. I will wear my mask and take my Clorox wipes to the polls with me in November. I will stand in line (probably sitting on my walker!) as long as it takes.

Post on social media if that is your thing. I have read a meme that says something to the effect that people post not in hopes of changing minds, but to keep from being changed themselves.

Whatever works for you.

Just keep caring.

Phyllis George

I read this evening where Phyllis George has passed away at the age of 70. She was Miss America 1971 and that night is one that I will never forget. 

Before the pageant, my brother had gone to the refrigerator to get a drink for my mama. Unable to wrest it from the plastic ring that held the 6 pack together, he got some scissors. Sparing my readers the details, he injured his eye and lost all vision in it at the age of 9. 

Of course, chaos ensued. My brother was rushed to the emergency room and neighbors came to pick up my sister and me. In an attempt to keep us from worrying (I was 10 and Tammy was 8) our friends tuned into the pageant and we all began to watch. Phyllis George was a favorite from the beginning. Her charm and personality overcame a very weak piano rendition of "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head" to help her become Miss America that year. As she took her triumphant walk, her crown fell off of her head. She bent down, picked it up, and just kept going. 

And so did my brother. 

Spoiled

I will be the first to admit that Amazon Prime has spoiled me. I do shop small businesses here in town, but some things I can only get by mail order. I got way too used to that speedy delivery, although I often traded some of that speed for credits towards e-books for my Kindle. Even then, I usually received things within a week.

Enter COVID-19. Speedy shipping is not always guaranteed due to necessities taking precedence. I am OK with that. I want medical supplies and masks to get to those who need them. I can wait on my craft supplies, print books, and kitchen things. But, when it took 3 weeks to get my printer ink (Office Max seldom has the high yield black cartridge for my Epson Workforce printer) it got a little dicey. I was watching those ink levels daily, saving print jobs for the things that were absolutely necessary. I was also almost out of paper, but it was actually delivered within 3 days. Go figure. 

If this virus has taught me anything it is that I am privileged beyond belief. It has taught me to conserve resources more carefully. To be extra thankful for those who work to get me the things I don't just need, but want. 

I almost did a happy dance when those ink cartridges arrived. But, I decided against it. 

I didn't want to add the cost of a visit to the ER to the already hideously expensive ink! 

Jane

I have often heard the expression, "When God made _____, He broke the mold." Never has that expression been more true than in the case of my friend Jane. 

I did not meet Jane until just a few years ago, when I was introduced to her by a mutual friend while we were at one of the Metropolitan Opera Simulcasts at Tinseltown. If I recall correctly, the opera was Madame Butterfly and it was a lovely production. 

Jane and I ended up in a book club together and that is where we really bonded. Jane reminded me a lot of my mother, who passed away in 1990. Jane said what she thought and would try anything...at least once. As someone who tends to worry about what others think, Jane's fearlessness was fun to be around. 

I am going to miss picking her up for political meetings and smoothies at the Coffee House Cafe. I am going to miss her love and acceptance of me. She loved me for me and not just for what I could do for her. The older I get, the more precious that has become. 

Jane passed away on March 20th and I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that she is gone. I see things every day that I want to share with her and it is all I can do not to post something that would have tickled her to her Facebook wall. 

Due to the COVID-19 restrictions, a proper memorial could not be held and that makes grieving more complicated. I hope to be at least be able to raise a socially distant glass with her son and daughter before too terribly long. 

Rest in peace, Jane. 

Cheers. 

The Graduate: Bryan Edition

My young nephew has just graduated Magna Cum Laude from Mississippi State University with his  Master's Degree in Electrical/Computer Engineering. 

There is a running joke in our family that if Bryan had been the first born, he would have been an only child. He was a sweet, shy child, but boy was he stubborn! His parents and grandmother had to practically sit on him to get him to do his homework. I worried about what would happen to him when he got to college and did not have "Granna" to make him study! He used to joke that he was taking her with him! 

Fortunately, well before that, this bright kid got serious about his studies, graduating in the top ten in his class at Clinton High School. And, when he got to MSU, he followed in his Papaw Nelson's footsteps by majoring in Engineering. 

To say I am proud of this kid is an understatement. He has overcome a reading disorder by finding ways to learn that work for him. Over the past year or so, he has taken charge of his health, changing his eating habits, and exercising regularly while taking graduate courses and working as a graduate research assistant. He interviewed for 4 jobs on a Friday and had offers from 3 of them by the next Monday. He will be moving to Huntsville, AL in the next few weeks to start working for Dynetics, an applied science and information tech company. 

For those parents who are pulling their hair out dealing with stubborn kids, take heart. Those things that drive parents insane when kids are little can be the very things that ensure success when they are older.

Hang in there. 

Opening Up?

Look, I get it. I realize that we cannot stay shut down forever. People are ready to get back into their normal routines. And, for some, this is completely worth risking their own lives and the lives of others. 

But, can we do this with some degree of care? Would it really be so bad to have places limit the number of people inside for a while? I, for one, would love to see restaurant tables spaced out enough not to be able to hear every word of the conversation at the next table! 

I am also aware that we vulnerable folks are going to have to be careful for the foreseeable future no matter what the government decides. I will be the one still wearing a mask, washing my hands more often, avoiding crowds, and not shaking hands for some time to come. I will not mind having my temperature taken before I enter a medical facility. And I am fine doing business through windows for a while. 

Another thing I am hoping will happen after "reopening" is that stores might consider continuing "senior hours" at least one day a week. This virus is not just going to go away and this gesture would be appreciated by those of us who qualify. I can also see more employment opportunities for Instacart and other pickup service workers. 

If those of us who have a steady income can help our friends and neighbors who are out of work right now, we might be able to obtain that balance between safety and the economy. 

It's worth a try. 

Expendable?

Expendable: of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be abandoned. 

As the regulations on gatherings and essential businesses go on, I know that a lot of people are itching for an immediate return back to business as usual. I get it. I do. There are a lot of people out of work who were already living paycheck to paycheck. 

I was reading the comments under one such post this afternoon. One person said that "This is America! Survival of the fittest!" I know other people are thinking that, even if they are not saying it out loud. 

I read respected local medical professionals opinions about the need to continue safety practices for a while longer. Our relatively small hospital has been known to get overwhelmed in a bad flu year, let alone one where a much larger group of people could require intensive medical resources in a very short time. 

Believe me, I am all about a return to some semblance of normal. But does it have to be immediate and does it have to happen all at once? As a fairly high risk person, I have a feeling that my life will not be going back to my previous normal any time soon. I see masks, gloves, and some degree of social distancing in my life for the foreseeable future. Being that higher risk asthmatic, immunosuppressed, over 60 person with a neuromuscular disorder, I tend to shy away from crowds or anyone who is obviously ill anyway. 

Are there alternatives to just throwing the vulnerable to the wolves? My Christian faith seems to make a case that the ill and elderly are cherished children of God and worthy of being treated as such. 

Today it really hit me that in many people's eyes, I am expendable. People like me are nothing compared to the economy and the convenience of the healthy. In the grand scheme of things, I don't matter. And that hurts. 

I think I still have at least something to offer this world. 

I just hope I get the time to do it. 

A Strange Easter

This morning, I awoke to a very different Easter. 

First of all, I decadently slept till after 6 AM. This would not happen on a normal Easter at Hermanville United Methodist Church. There was not an Easter card from my husband on the kitchen table this year. I'm sure he knew that I would have his head if he had gone anywhere and lingered long enough to look at cards. His chocolate bunny is pitifully small this year, but it was the only one I could quickly find while in a local Dollar General (to which I will not be going back anytime soon!) replacing my broken tea pitcher, which IS an essential item in my house. 

I will not be eating Easter lunch at Granna's with my family. It will be lunch for two with just my husband and me. I did spend much of yesterday cooking what is pretty close to a normal Easter lunch with the items I was able to have delivered by Instacart and could find at Honeybaked Ham. We will have stuffed eggs and candied yams. Because of the possibility of inclement weather today, I made plates for Granna and some other elderly friends and delivered them yesterday. I know that they will especially miss being with their families this year. I want everyone to have at least a little taste of "Easter food." 

Instead of a live church service, I will watch a local service on Facebook. I will sing along with hymns, even if my husband looks at me funny. And I WILL celebrate the risen Christ regardless of the current circumstances. Easter has been distilled to its essence. That is not a bad thing. 

Happy Easter! 

Art Supplies

During this COVID-19 crisis, I have been trying not to order "non-essential" things from Amazon. I want the workers to be focusing on things like getting essential supplies where they need to be. I order some of my necessary supplements and medical supplies from them, so I want those to be a priority. 

However, I also need to stay sane and feel like I am contributing something during this crisis. I am doing this by making sure a 90-year-old friend has the things she needs, and by making cards for my friends who are currently confined not just to nursing homes, but also confined to their rooms. No visitors. No activities. No socializing even with each other in some cases. Having been in nursing homes to rehab hip replacements, this would have been nothing short of Hell for me. 

So, when my paper cutter blade went dull and I ran out of tape runner and pretty printed paper, I debated whether is was right to order replacements for these things so I could continue making cards. After a day or so of inner debate, I finally decided to make my order. In my case, right now, art supplies are as essential as just about anything else. I am not a TV watcher. I can only read for so long before my eyes give out. I have to take Social media breaks for my own sanity. But, I can make cards as long as my hands will let me. And they are something tangible that might bring a smile to someone's face. I hope those wonderful workers at Amazon didn't mind packing my art supplies too much. 

I have seen several posts dubbed #covidcrafts.

 I guess I'm not the only one. 

Manners in the time of Corona

I am one of those people who, even in the best of times, needs personal space. I can't stand having anyone right on me and I avoid crowds for that reason. I also avoid crowds, even in the best of times, because I am immunosuppressed. 

Of course, now, the need for social distancing is making this even more crucial. I go out very sparingly and only for food, medicine, and physical therapy (in a carefully controlled environment). I also try to take food every few days to a 90 year old friend who does not have any family nearby and who does not need to get our for any reason. 

Today, I was trying to help out a local business by getting takeout from one of our awesome Vicksburg restaurants. As I drove up, a car pulled up beside me with 4 men in it who were obviously coming from a workplace. I could tell that they were NOT practicing social distancing. I came in before them (I had already called in my order) and took a seat in the corner as far away from these men as possible. However, one of them was determined to stand way too close to me. It would have been too close even if we were not dealing with COVID-19. I politely asked him if he would mind moving away from me because I was high risk. 

The man became annoyed and walked out of the restaurant. I got a "look" from the person at the counter as she tried to get him to come back in. I did not think I was being unreasonable to ask for proper space. 

I learned my lesson and will not go to any place that does not offer curb service or drive-through for the duration. 

How would you handle this situation? Suggestions welcome! 

Getting Real

I got up before daylight this morning to make a quick trip to Corner Market. Being a small, Mississippi owned company, it is seldom crowded and I felt like I would be safe going there for the few things I needed to pick up. I had seen pictures of empty shelves in large places like Wal-Mart and Kroger, but I was not prepared to see empty shelves at my little Corner Market. 

One of the items on my list was ground chuck. I was able to get the one small package that was left. The stocker told me to come back by and there might be a little more. When I went back, one woman was stacking up every single package of the limited amount now available and putting it in her cart. I went to look for the brand of tea I can drink and it too was all gone. I talked to sweet Mr. Doyle Martin from a safe distance, but missed my customary hug from him. There was no Jif Creamy peanut butter, so I headed on down the aisle. A group of older men was sitting close together and drinking coffee around a table. I stayed away from them. I sure hope they are being careful in other places! 

Fortunately, I am not completely out of the items I could not purchase today. And, sadly, I was not surprised at the actions of one woman grabbing every available package of an item, seemingly not caring if anyone else got any or not. I was a little surprised at the men around the table seeing as they were all obviously in the higher risk demographic. 

Compared to times like WWII, when people were asked to put their lives on the line, make many sacrifices, and do things for the common good, I honestly wonder if America could survive another World War. We have grown so selfish. If people who are able can't even do relatively simple things like social distancing or leaving anything for anyone else, could we pull together as a country the way people did during hard times of the past? 

As for me, I am going to do my best to keep my family and friends safe. I am going to check on my elderly friends who do not need to be out under any circumstances and get them what they need if possible. I am going to find not crowded outdoor spaces to get a little walking in. And, if I have it, and you need it, let me know. I'll share. 

Even my toilet paper. 

Immunosuppressed

I am what is known as immunosuppressed. I have to take steroids every day and will have to take them for the rest of my life. These steroids help keep me functioning and fill in the gaps of my faulty adrenal system. But, they also make me more susceptible to getting infections and illnesses. To complicate things, I also have a neuromuscular issue and asthma. 

I am not panicking. I am not buying up everyone's share of hand sanitizer or toilet paper. But, the good Lord gave me a brain and the ability to use it, for the most part. As a person more likely to get what is going around, I try to keep a safe distance between myself and anyone who appears to be ill with anything. 

The thing I am most concerned about, however, is the possibility of contracting COVID-19 and potentially passing it on to my more vulnerable or elderly friends. There is a good chance that I would recover. My friends, not so much. I have a surprising number of friends who are over 90 as well as quite a few over 80. I would not put them in jeopardy for the world. 

Yes, I am trying to keep a sense of humor about all this. I post funny stuff on Facebook. I did joke about stocking up on Girl Scout Cookies. But, I am keeping up with current information from reliable sources, and I know not to trivialize this by making it political. I also don't question the strength of my faith because I do take COVID-19 seriously. 

Stay well, everyone. 

Visiting Hours

I went to visit a friend today in the ICU. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I could go in at any time I wanted and stay as long as the patient wanted me to be there. They now have "open" visiting hours. 

How I wish this had been the case when my mother was dying in the ICU at Vicksburg Hospital that Christmas night back in 1990. We got a strict 10 minutes on the hour. Only two people could go in at a time and they were supposed to be family. Mama was an only child, but no one at the hospital knew that. So, her dearest friends became her "sisters" in order for them to be allowed to visit Mama. 

That Christmas night, everyone knew that Mama was not going to make it. It would have been so much more humane to let us be with her for every precious second that she had left. About the last hour or so, they relented and finally let us come in and stay. It had to be enough. 

I firmly believe that the presence of loved ones, (as long as the patient is happy with that arrangement), is as crucial to recovery as medicine. Kudos to Merit Health River Region for getting on board with letting patients and families be together as much as possible, either for the purpose of getting the patient well, or allowing them time to say their goodbyes. 

I am thankful that in the future, we have that time. At least at Merit Health River Region. 

Letting Go, Hands Edition

Letting go is difficult for many of us. During our lifetimes, we are required to let many things go. We have to let go of hopes and dreams. Sometimes we have to let go of relationships. And we have to let go of THINGS. 

I am in the process of getting rid of art and craft supplies that I can simply no longer use. This is not because of a lack of desire to use them, but because of increased neuropathy, muscle weakness, and arthritis in my hands. 

This is proving to be harder than getting rid of other things. I can easily get rid of clothing I no longer want. I can, with some difficulty, get rid of books, CDs, and movies. I can get rid of kitchen items and dishes. 

But art supplies are another matter entirely! Not only am I getting rid of the supplies, but I am also getting rid of the creative hopes I had for them. One thing that makes this bearable is to give them to people who can still use them. 

So, I am working on getting rid of what I can no longer use to make room for the things that I still can do. 

But, I would be lying if I said it was easy. 

No Hat

As absolutely thrilled as I was to watch my beloved LSU Tigers win the National Championship, it was a bit bittersweet. For the first time, my Daddy was not here to watch it with me. I have no doubt that he was with me in spirit. I had his LSU sign propped up in front of my television along with an LSU Christmas ornament given to me by my sister with the words "All I want for Christmas is to win the Championship" printed on a small blackboard. 

Another thing that was strange was the fact that I was not immediately ordering Daddy an LSU Championship hat. The last hat I bought him was when LSU won the SEC in 2011 and I got him that hat. He was terminally ill that December and in the hospital. I took him his hat, and although, he never got to wear it, it was proudly displayed on a shelf on the little credenza in his hospital room. After Daddy passed away, I gave his other championship hats away. But, I still have that last one. I just could not part with it. 

I have people in my life who think watching football is silly. But, for me, college football is an enduring link to the Daddy I continue to miss terribly 8 years after his passing. When I cheer for the Tigers, I can almost hear my Daddy hollering at the TV for his beloved LSU. 

So, I will holler Geaux Tigers as long as I have the breath to do so. 

Thanks for the memories, Daddy.